


Body Glitter is Trashy

by Bad_Romance



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Drinking, F/M, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Strippers & Strip Clubs, dancers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:09:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Romance/pseuds/Bad_Romance
Summary: Dance has been used across cultures to tell stories and express human emotion in ways that words cannot. Dancing has persisted and evolved over centuries, not faltering even in times of crisis and despair.So when did dancing start to feel so empty for him?





	1. Chapter 1

 

“I appreciate the thought, Shinra. But really, I’m fine.” Izaya sighs for what must be the fourth time that night.

“You keep saying that but you came anyway!” Shinra says with a knowing smile. “You just had a bad break-up and as your amazing friend it’s my job to make you feel better!”

Izaya snorts refuses to look away from the taxi window. “Did Celty tell you that?”

“Yep, and Celty’s always right!” Shinra chirps shamelessly.

“I don’t need you to make me feel better. I dumped him.” Outside a bicyclist swerves dangerously around a car through the traffic, sending droplets of rainwater up into the neon lights.

“Doesn’t matter, you were together for like, two years. Yes, you do need at least one wild night.” Shinra insists. “We’re almost there, so get into the spirit of things already!”

Izaya rolls his eyes. He should still be in the studio but…

“Does that mean you’ll finally tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope!” Shinra leans forward in his seat to look out the front window. “You’ll see right after we turn through this red light… I think.”

“You think,” Izaya sneers. He doesn’t really like Shinra’s girlfriend but at least if she were driving she would know. But no, Shinra insisted on a taxi for some reason.

He gets that this is supposed to be a ‘guys night out’ or whatever the fuck Celty told Shinra he was supposed to be doing but that doesn’t mean he wanted to spend his Friday night getting lost in some smelly taxi in the rain.

“There it is!” Comes Shinra’s triumphant cry right in his ear. “Right here is fine!” He tells the taxi driver cheerfully.

Izaya hardly has time to get a look at the place before Shinra is pulling him out into the rain. As they rush into the brick building Izaya looks up to read the flickering neon sign.

“The… Dollars…?” Like the American currency? Is it some kind of nightclub?

Once they get in the front doors past the bouncer it becomes clear. This is a strip club. And based on the shirtless man on stage it is, in fact, a ‘guy’s night.’

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Shi-Shinra!” Izaya gasps, too floored to resist his friend dragging him to a table by his wrist. “You brought me to a strip club?!”

“A  _ male _ strip club!” Shinra says proudly, sitting Izaya down. “Surprise!”

Izaya pointedly does not look at the man on stage who’s spinning around the pole, glistening with sweat and probably glitter. 

“Yes, I can see that, but  _ why? _ ”

“To have fun and get over your break-up,” Shinra says it like it’s obvious. 

“But- but you’re not gay!” Izaya knows this all too well. That’s not really this issue here but he’s struggling to piece together what he actually wants to say. “Why would you take me here?!”

“Yeah, but you are!” Shinra shouts over the pounding music. “Tonight’s for you!”

On one hand, Izaya is pretty damn sure Celty didn’t tell Shinra to take Izaya to a strip club so he’s at least a little happy Shinra came up with something on his own. On the other hand…

“But I don’t want to be in a strip club!”

“Too late! Now try and have fun for at least a little while!” Shinra leaves Izaya to go order them some drinks and Izaya is left awkwardly alone at the table. 

He’s never been in a strip club before, male or otherwise. Has Shinra? 

He looks towards the stage again and sees the muscular man rolling his tanned body against the pole before bending to shake his sculpted ass at the cheering crowd. 

Yeah, Izaya can’t do this. 

But just as he’s about to swan dive over the table and ditch his ‘great friend,’ Shinra comes back with their drinks. 

“Now, as your friend and doctor, I’m prescribing you just enough alcohol to have a good time but not enough of a good time to catch a low-grade STD.”

Izaya glares at Shinra over the drink. 

“Why did you think this was a good idea?”

“Because we’ve never been to a strip club together and that’s what friends do.” Shinra pulls out his phone and turns to take a selfie with Izaya, holding up a peace sign. Izaya quickly hides his face with his hand before Shinra can take the picture. 

“Aw, come on Izaya, I promise not to post it anywhere!”

“No way. I do not trust you and I cannot have pictures with my face at some cheap strip club online!”

“Well, I couldn’t afford an expensive one…” Shinra grumbles, but he does pocket his phone. 

“You need to lighten up. What would you be doing tonight if I didn’t bring you here anyway?”

“Working on my routine. What else?”

“Exactly!” Shinra shouts, pointing at Izaya accusingly before taking a swing of his brightly colored drink. “And I’ve already told you, you need to pump the brakes a little unless you want to end your career prematurely. I’m sure your routine is perfect so take just  _ one _ night off. Doctors orders.”

Izaya sighs and looks down into his glass. A Bitter Widow, if he’s not mistaken. A preference of his as far as mixed drinks go that he hasn’t tasted in a long time. The name doesn’t help with the break-up but the fact that Shinra knew what to order without asking kind of does. It’s just…

“It needs to be more than perfect.”

Shinra rolls his eyes. “That right there is what I’m talking about. Come on, just take one sip and watch at least  _ one _ dance. If you’re not having at least a little fun we can do something else tonight. But no going back to the studio. Deal?”

Izaya looks back up at Shinra. He still thinks it was a shitty idea from the start but… damn it, he still can’t say no to Shinra. 

“Fine.” He tips his head back for a mouthful of the bitter drink. The vodka burns on the way down in a way he almost forgot about. “I’ll watch one.”

“Yes!” Shinra cheers, clinking his glass against Izaya’s before taking another gulp. They both turn to look at the stage just as the dancer is finishing up his performance. Izaya takes a deep breath in through his nose and braces himself as the music shifts. 

The new song pounds slowly into Izaya’s ears with boosted bass as the next dancer struts onto the stage. He looks like he’s going to break someone’s nose in a concrete basement to get initiated into Fight Club wearing cheap black rabbit ears, suspenders, and black tights. The walk might be intimidating on the street but given the setting Izaya  _ supposes _ it passes for sexy.

The dancer grabs the pole aggressively and his name is announced over the music as “The Beast!” 

Izaya snorts. He’s heard worst stripper names for sure, but fine, time to see just how ‘beastly’ this man is.

The Beast pushes back the shaggy blond bangs that couldn’t fit into his loose ponytail. The dye job is obviously cheap just like the rest of this place. Trashy, if Izaya were to put a word to it, but that’s no surprise. Izaya takes another sip of his drink before sitting back in his chair, crossing his arms and legs.

The Beast loosens his bowtie and glares at the audience, who goes absolutely nuts, before finally swinging up onto the pole. He spins around with only the crook of his elbow wrapped around the pole, the rest of his body appearing to float in a circle as he holds himself up perfectly straight with what must an impressive core. Not that Izaya can see it because of the white, sleeveless button-up he’s wearing for some reason.

From there The Beast moves his legs as if he’s walking, likely to gain momentum, before curling his legs up to hold the pole between his knees to bow his back and swing around the pole hands-free. 

Okay, so it’s a little impressive, but it’s nothing Izaya couldn’t do.

The Beast rolls through his back-bend up to grab the pole with both hands to swing faster and kicks his legs out. His toe-point is mediocre at best. Almost as soon as his momentum gets going The Beast kicks off the pole abruptly to land in a wide, confident stance. Finally, he rips the white shirt open. 

He does so violently with absolutely none of the tease or build-up Izaya would expect from a stripper but the audience goes absolutely wild with the screams of drunk men and women alike. And yeah, fine, he has great abs and pecks to match, but really, is anyone surprised? Of course, he’s lean yet sculpted. No big deal.

Izaya takes another sip of his drink.

The Beast throws his shirt to the side and readjusts his suspenders with a snap before leaping up into the air and diving backward towards the pole. Izaya’s eyes widen as The Beast grabs onto the pole more than halfway to the top and brings his legs up to hold himself horizontally on the strength of his arms alone with his legs in the air and his back to the ground.

Izaya nearly spits out his drink.

“Wow!” Shinra gasps. “Man, I wish I was that strong. Celty would be so impressed!”

Izaya doesn’t have time to give Shinra sass because The Beast lowers his legs to hook his feet around the pole and change his position. He contorts himself gracefully enough until he’s facing the pole and climbs it to grab near the top. He swings around it one-handed but then he’s shifting again to grab the pole with both hands to spin with his legs above his head - completely upside down. 

From there the music picks up and The Beast’s dance gets faster and even more violent. He’s whipping around the pole and swinging his legs in circles, juggling his own body weight. He seems to only touch the floor to prepare for more stunts such as an aerial cartwheel and some kind of upside-down spinning kick with one hand on the pole for support. The whole performance is an amazing display of strength, flexibility, grip, and balance.

All of which Izaya has, of course, so he’s not  _ that _ impressed or anything. He could do that routine if he practiced. Not that he would. He’s above pole dancing.

… But he can’t help but wonder how this man who clearly has athletic skill ended up in such a dump. Shouldn’t he at least be stripping in a classier club?

The Beast ends his performance by yanking his trashy blond hair free of the tie at the nape of his neck to whip it in a circle, sending a swirl of gold glitter out into the audience.

Izaya can only take his eyes off the stage once The Beast grabs his shirt from the floor and throws it over his shoulder before sauntering backstage. He quickly closes his mouth and looks over to Shinra to see if he noticed Izaya’s jaw on the floor, but no, Shinra is standing and cheering with the rest of the crowd.

Shinra feels Izaya’s eyes on him and finally turns away from the stage.

“That was awesome!” He exclaims. “What an incredible display of the human body! Aren’t you glad we came?” Only Shinra could say that and have it not be completely gay.

“It was pretty good.” Izaya grants. He takes another drink and his face feels a little hot from the alcohol.

Izaya’s not having a terrible time so he agrees to stay for a few more dances but none of them have quite the same showmanship as The Beast. They’re all shorter too so Izaya figures The Beast must be one of the club’s featured dancers. He certainly seemed to have some fans in the audience.

It doesn’t take Izaya long to get bored with the other dancers so he and Shinra find themselves at the bar instead. The music isn’t quite as loud there so Izaya can enjoy a perfectly buzzed conversation without having to scream to be heard. Unfortunately, Shinra doesn’t appear to share the sentiment.

“Which one was your favorite so far?!” Shinra asks far too loudly for how close they’re sitting after polishing off another drink.

Izaya shrugs noncommittally, drinking his own more slowly. He doesn’t want to admit to anything so he opens his mouth to answer with-

Shinra cuts him off with a laugh. “Oh no, don’t try to lie! I know you’re about to say something like ‘I don’t remember any in particular,’ right?”

Actually, that was what Izaya was going to say. Shinra is too good at reading him and frankly, it’s embarrassing.

“You don’t even have to tell me, I already know!” Shinra waves his hand in front of Izaya’s face to stop Izaya from speaking when he opens his mouth again. “It was The Beast, wasn’t it?!”

“Am I allowed to be part of this conversation yet?” Izaya huffs. He hates being called out.

“No, you’re not allowed to be in this conversation,” Shinra continues, throwing his arm around Izaya’s shoulder. “Who you should be in a conversation with is  _ him _ .”

Izaya gives Shinra a flat look. “Excuse me? With  _ whom _ now?”

“The Beast!” Shinra cries impatiently. As if Izaya is the one missing someone here.

“That’s not happening.” Izaya throws Shinra’s arm off. “Even if I wanted to talk to him, which I don’t considering the only thing interesting about him is his muscles, there’s no way I can. It’s not like they’d just let us into the back to talk to him.”

“That’s where you’re wrong!” Shinra retorts, poking Izaya’s nose for emphasis. “They might not let just anybody back there but they’ll let a friend.”

“A what?”

“Come on, Izaya, you’re not drunk enough to get away with being this slow.” Shinra giggles. “A friend. As in me.”

_ “You?  _ Who could you possibly be friends with?” Shinra doesn’t have friends! He has patients and Celty and Izaya. And Izaya’s his best friend, well, he’s the best friend Shinra  _ isn’t _ dating. There’s no way Shinra could have a friend he doesn’t know about… right?

“The Beast, obviously.” For the second time, that night Izaya’s jaw drops.

“You’re lying.”

“Am not!” Shinra whines. He gets off his barstool to grab Izaya by his upper arm and drag him towards the back of the club. “I mean, we’re not like, really close or anything but I definitely know him.”

“Oh no! No way, Shinra!” Izaya shakes his head frantically to protest. “I don’t believe you. Even then I don’t want to meet him!”

Sinra refuses to see reason. “I’ll just tell the guard to tell him I’m here and then you two can talk about dance moves or whatever.”

“You are not setting me up with a stripper, Kishitani!”

“You’re right, I’m not.” Shinra waves at Izaya like he’s being the ridiculous one. “We’re just going to talk, no big deal.”

Izaya’s about to call Shinra a liar again but they’ve reached the guard for the door to the back. She’s a blond, blue-eyed woman leaning against the black door with her arms crossed. She raises an eyebrow at them as they approach and looks them up and down.

“Can I be of assistance?” She asks coldly in a thick, Russian accent.

Izaya says “no” at the same time Shinra says “yes.” Why does Shinra have to be so much louder…

“I’m a friend of one of the dancers,” Shinra explains and the woman looks back at him unimpressed. Izaya wants to facepalm.  _ Yeah, like she’s never heard that one before. _

“Could you tell The Beast that Shinra is here to visit him?”

The guard pushes herself off the door to stand up straight in front of them with her arms still crossed. She’s not bigger than them but Izaya feels intimidated all the same.

“No.” She says bluntly. “It is most probable that you are lying.” That’s what Izaya said! Well, more or less.

“I’m not!” Shinra insists. “Just ask him and he’ll tell you.”

The woman narrows her eyes at him and Izaya wants to leave before she kicks them out with force. He cannot afford to risk an injury on something like this.

“Which dancer?”

Shinra looks around and Izaya does the same to see what he’s looking for only to see that no one is within earshot.  _ Wait… Shinra can’t seriously… _

Shinra leans in towards the guard closer to whisper to her. From the distance Izaya is standing at he can’t have heard the name over the pounding music. Her eyes widen and just as Izaya is sure she’s going to knock the wind out of Shinra she nods.

Does Shinra seriously know The Beast’s real name? He really knows this stripper? How?

The woman gestures to another nearby guard to take over her spot while she goes into the back to tell The Beast that Shinra is here to see him.

Izaya is stunned. He hardly knows what to say…

Oh, wait, yes he does.

“How do you know a stripper?!”

Shinra laughs good-naturedly. “Get with the times, Izaya. Strippers are real people during the day too.”

Izaya flushes. “I know that it’s just…” Unexpected. Very unexpected. Like this whole night, actually. “What’s his name?”

“I’m sure you’ll find out in a minute but I’d really rather let him tell you if it’s all the same. I’m pretty sure he’d kick my ass if I just started giving his name out.”

The door opens back up and the guard woman steps out to wave them inside.

“Come in, Shinra and friend.”

Shinra shoots Izaya a smile before leading him inside. Izaya’s first time at a strip club and he’s going backstage to meet one of the premier strippers. He doesn’t know if he’s proud of himself or ashamed.

The guard leads them through the hallway past a couple of doors to take them out to the back where The Beast himself is leaning against the bricks with a cigarette hanging between his lips and a fraying coat around his shoulders. Yet again, Izaya wants to go home.

… At least the rain has stopped. Now it’s just cold and wet.

“Thanks, Vorona.” The Beast says to the guard in a low, gruff voice. She nods and goes back inside to her post. 

Then, The Beast sets his eyes on Shinra and Izaya.

“What do you want, Shinra?” he grunts, tapping some of the ash off the end of his cigarette. “And who’s that?” He adds, nodding in Izaya’s direction. 

“This is my friend, Izaya!” Shinra says with a bright smile and throws his arm around Izaya’s shoulders. “We’re having a night out and he refused to believe I knew you!”

The Beast huffs and eyes Izaya suspiciously.

“... Are you a fan or somethin’?”

“No,” Izaya responds calmly. The heat in his face is still from the alcohol. It must be since he isn’t a fan. “Shinra just dragged me to this club and… Well, you can hardly blame me for not believing him.”

The Beast scoffs. If he knows Shinra than Izaya figures he’ll know that’s not a lie.

…

There are a few beats of awkward silence as The Beast smokes and Izaya has nothing to say.

Shinra suddenly pulls away from Izaya and pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh! Look at that! Celty’s texting me! Excuse me, I just need to let my darling everything is going fine. You know her, always an angel, caring for others.” Shinra turns to leave them alone with one of the worst excuses Izaya’s ever heard. “Izaya dances too, you know!” Shinra shoots back over his shoulder at The Beast before he gets too far.

The Beast grunts and shifts his body towards Izaya, pulling the cigarette out of his lips.

“You’re a dancer too?”

Izaya nods, still slightly mortified that Shinra is seriously doing this to him.

“Which club do you work at?”

Izaya sputters at that, he’s not that kind of dancer. “I’m not a  _ stripper. _ ”

The Beast narrows his eyes at Izaya’s careless tone and takes a step closer to him.

“There somethin’ wrong with it?” He growls and Izaya resists the urge to roll his eyes because he really can’t let himself get beat up.  _ Something wrong aside from the obvious? _

“I didn’t mean that,” he says simply. “I was just surprised, I thought we were using the term dancer in a… broader sense.” The Beast still looks put off but he doesn’t look like he’s going to knock Izaya out so it’s an improvement, at least. “I dance with a company.”

“Huh.” The Beast grunts, taking a drag of his cigarette as he shifts his weight to one hip, a much less offensive position. “What kind of dance do you do?”

Izaya straightens his posture a bit. This is a subject he can talk about. He’s a professional, not an ‘entertainer’ or whatever strippers prefer to be called.

“Ballet.”

* * *

 

_ Fancy-ass ballerina, huh? Gimme a fuckin’ break! _ Shizuo thinks bitterly as he wails on the punching bag. Vorona’s holding it for him so he doesn’t have to wait for it to swing back after each punch. The Beast and Security are down in the basement of their apartment complex. The ratty place had it advertised as a gym to attract more tenants and he and Vorona fell for it. It’s more like a large, barren, concrete room with a heavy bag, a treadmill that screams when it’s used, some sticky free weights, and a rickety bench press. They’ve made good use of the free space all the same.

_ Just because he went to school for it and I didn’t don’t mean he’s fucking better than me.  _

But Shizuo’s finally burning out. He’s just about done punching the bag and then he can finally move on to sparring Vorona in good conscious.

_ At least Shinra didn’t tell the little asshole my real name.  _

Torquing his hips to deliver the last few devastating blows to the ‘body’ of the bag he gains power from the leverage despite the close quarters. 

When enough is enough he steps away from the bag, panting. He wipes the sweat from his brow and looks up at Vorona who steps out from behind the bag. 

“You have been especially ferocious today,” She remarks. “Something is on your mind.”

Shizuo sighs and unwraps his hands to flex his fingers and let his skin feel the cool air. There’s no point in denying it when his emotional state is so obvious.

“Yeah,” He admits, stepping back to grab his water bottle for a drink. “‘s nothing big. Just that friend Shinra brought to the club.”

“The friend of the friend?”

Shizuo nods. Although he wouldn’t call Shinra much of a friend since he’s only really spent time with him because of Celty and to get patched up from time to time. The only reason he told Vorona to let them into the back that night in the club is because he thought that Shinra might have something to say pertaining to his real friend.

“Just… didn’t like his attitude. He didn’t say nothin’ really bad, it was more like his tone.”

“He looked down upon your profession.”

Again, Shizuo nods. It’s nothing really new since being a stripper isn’t exactly considered noble but that doesn’t mean Shizuo has to take some pretty boy’s passive-aggressive attitude.

“I understand. I shall not let him into the back again.”

Shizuo takes another drink of his water and waves off Vorona’s concern. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Doubt we’re gonna see him around here again. He was definitely the prissy type.” He walks over to Vorona to offer her some water and snorts prematurely at his next words. “Said he was a  _ professional ballerina _ .”

“How professional?” Vorona accepts the bottle and takes a drink. 

“Dunno. Said he worked for a company and I didn’t care enough to ask for details.” More like Shizuo cared more about whether or not the prissy ballerina thought he was interested in his level of success, which is already clearly beyond Shizuo’s. Shizuo could never hope to know what it was like to dance for money like  _ that _ and… well, why embarrass himself by asking for the full story when it’s not going to change his life anyway?

Vorona nods and puts the water bottle off to the side before tossing Shizuo his gloves. She walks into the center of the room and straps her own pair on before getting a defensive position. Shizuo grins and straps himself up to join her.

He loves fighting Vorona. He used to get into fights all the time as a kid because of his bad temper. As he grew up he started to find other ways to release his emotions and express himself, dance is the primary method, but his ability to hit hard and get hit harder has turned out to be pretty useful on several occasions. 

Sparring with Vorona started out rough because he’d never been in a clean fight before. Vorona actually knows how to fight whereas Shizuo grew up as a brawler. Every time he had to put his fists up in the past he had to seriously hurt somebody and rage was his only technique. But he’s not angry fighting Vorona and neither of them is seriously trying to hurt the other. It took awhile for him to learn about the levels between zero and one hundred but he’s glad he did it. 

Vorona’s still a better fighter than him for sure so she usually beats him. She always says that she thinks her victory would not be as assured if he were to let loose, get mad, and fight dirty but Shizuo doesn’t know about that. Either way, he certainly doesn’t mind losing. He’d much rather lose and have them both walk away patting each other on the back than win covered in blood.

Sparring helps them both on two fronts. Exercise and keeping their skills sharp with Vorona as the first official line of defense for the dancers at the club and Shizuo as the last, unofficial line of defense.

The only time that their sparring sessions may have been a problem was that one time Vorona let him with a broken nose and a split lip on accident. Both of them had thought that would mess up Shizuo’s performance that night because of how fucked up his face was but it turned out to be a huge success. ‘The Beast’ had the crowd going crazy for that dangerous ‘bad boy’ look. The club took it in stride and gave Shizuo several costumes to ram the theme home, solidifying his stage image, such as a boxer and a rugged cop.

Vorona wins as usual and they end their workout with some more stretches. They end the night back in their room standing together in front of the microwave with their arms crossed and wet towels over their shoulders as they watch the leftovers spin in silence.

If they make good exercise partners then they make great roommates. Neither of them likes to talk, they’re both blunt, and they both love their pancakes covered in chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

“I’m going out with Mikage tomorrow,” Vorona says. There are thirty seconds left on the timer.

“Pick up some milk on your way back.” Shizuo grunts. The leftovers pop, staining the paper towel that’s covering them.

Vorona nods.

Shizuo hasn’t been in a relationship since… Well, okay, he’s never been in a real relationship before. He’s been with a few people but never in a dating sort of way. It’s not that he doesn’t want a relationship and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little jealous of Vorona and Mikage but he’s never felt that a relationship was an option for him. When he was a kid he was a hot angry mess and now he’s a stripper. It’s not like he has sex for money but he can’t imagine getting involved with someone he really likes and then dropping that bomb on them.

The microwave beeps and Shizuo takes the plate out to split the food between the two of them. The plate is scalding and the food is cold in the middle. Just how they like it, according to their shitty microwave.

Most people who don’t work in the industry think strippers are all trashy hoes and pretty little Swan Lake from earlier was no exception. Shizuo has no idea how someone that could be friends with a freak like Shinra could be so judgemental about his job. Okay, so he didn’t exactly say anything bad to Shizuo’s face but he was definitely thinking it.

He sighs as he stirs his meal to make it lukewarm. Vorona glances up at him but doesn’t say anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Izaya exhales slowly as he bends down into his cool-down stretches. Today was a flop too. His technical skill was there but yet again he’s missing a key element that he just can’t reach. 

_ Genuine feeling.  _

It’s always been his downfall as a dancer. He just can’t ever grab hold of that lockbox of emotion and open it up on stage. He can mimic it in perfect timing with cleverly chosen musical scores but it’s never really there. And it shows. 

He brings his leg up onto the bar with a sigh, not looking in the mirror as he leans sideways to grab his foot. 

But instead, he grabs the polished wooden bar and idly wonders how he does it. The Beast. That wild and raw intensity… Yes, it was the music and the choreography but there was something else. His presences, his energy, his…

_ Animal magnetism? _

Izaya snorts and shakes his head at that ridiculous line of thought. He tightens his grip on the bar, imagining it as metallic and upright instead and switches legs. 

The Beast is a stripper in a trashy club. He must have plenty in his life to be angry about so tapping into that energy on stage must come easily. The Beast is nothing special, he was just given an easy act, if it’s an act at all. Izaya has to be more diverse in his ability to create a mood. The Beast is a one-note and Izaya is certain if he saw him perform again there wouldn’t be anything to be excited about. The Beast surely only has loyal fans because none of them have any real taste or class. 

Izaya straightens up to look at himself in the mirror. He ruffles his sweaty hair for that freshly sexed look and tips his head back to expose his defined collar bones. He lays across the pole, his one lifted leg stretched out behind him, and points his toe perfectly. He bets that he could best that Beast on his first try. Once he figured out how to dance on a pole, that is. 

… Not that he would. Of course. He doesn’t  _ need _ to strip. He’s a  _ prodigy.  _ Once his parents took notice of his grace and talent he was given the opportunity to audition for all the best academies in the city and he’s exceeded every challenge they presented. People become strippers because of failure and Izaya doesn’t fail. 

After all, being a stripper is the last resort. No one becomes a stripper in a club like that if they have other options. 

The ballerina rights his posture and smoothed his hair, turning away from the mirror. His parents would be scandalized to know he ever set foot in a strip club and his boyfriend- his  _ ex-boyfriend _ would ridicule him for how low class the place was. 

There’s no point in dwelling on The Beast’s performance anymore. It was just another one of Shinra’s stupid ideas and he’s never going to see him again. 

He trades his practice shoes for his boots and pulls on his thick coat before heading home. 

The apartment is empty and dark when he gets back. He leaves his coat on as he goes to the kitchen for some tea because it’s cold inside too. It’s not that he can’t afford heat, it’s just that his apartment is slightly too big and too empty to heat quickly. 

But he’s sure it’s better than The Beast’s place. It must be the size of a shoebox and full of roaches and used cigarette butts. He must have a roommate who leaves used needles in the sink and neighbors who scream and throw plates at each other. 

Izaya smirks to himself. That would be amusing to see. 

He doesn’t bother opening the fridge because he knows he won’t find dinner in there. Instead, he pulls out his phone to order something online with low fat and high protein. He pouts as he steers away from fatty tuna, which he had yesterday after… Anyway, he’s got a show in three months and he cannot gain any weight. Sure a few sushi rolls aren’t bad, but it’s never just a few sushi rolls with him.

He sighs and places an order for something much less exciting and starts to steep his green tea. Once it’s ready he brings it to the couch and sits down with his cold feet tucked in. He turns on the news and listens to the noise as he sips his scalding tea. 

…

…..

……..

Sitting in the club alone the following weekend does  _ not _ mean he’s decided he likes The Beast. It just means that he needs a good laugh, that’s all. Because he’s certain he will not be impressed a second time. He sips his water, hardly paying any attention to the other acts. They’re all fine and the men are attractive and whatever. They’re just not… funny enough.

* * *

 

It takes some finesse but eventually, Shizuo manages to cuff his own wrists together with his knees. Normally he’d get one of the other dancers to help but the changing room is in a frenzy tonight. They’re down a dancer and people are trying to piece together who’s going out in their stead. But Shizuo’s not letting himself get distracted by that right now. He’s been working hard for tonight’s routine. 

He looks up in the mirror and gives his hair one more shake. It’s not tied back tonight, which is a bit annoying, but it works better for the costume. He’s supposed to be a hardened convict. All his dance themes usually revolve around his ‘bad boy’ image. He doesn’t see himself as much of a bad boy but the club has him using his ‘scary face’ to his advantage. 

He waits in the stage wing the last dancer to finish up. As soon as he comes back and gives Shizuo a friendly pat on the shoulder Shizuo’s music starts. It’s electric guitar today and pounding drums tonight. He takes a deep breath, steels his expression, and steps out into the spotlight. 

He was terrified of the light for his first show but now it’s nothing to him. It’s second nature to tune out the audience and the catcalls and just focus on his choreography. 

For tonight’s show, he’ll be pole dancing in handcuffs. He knows plenty of hands-free moves but cuffs, as he learned in practice, are different. 

His hands are cuffed in front of his body and he uses the audience’s enthusiasm to his advantage. He snarls at the woman in the front who cheers and stomps close to the man who whistles like he’s going to fight him. It makes the audience ‘oohh’ and get even more excited. 

He leans against the pole and takes a few beats of the song to glare out over the crowd, taking the time to try and intimidate each and every person. But that turns out to be a mistake as he sees  _ him _ and almost breaks character from shock. 

_ What the fuck is Swan Lake doin’ here?! _

He quickly shakes it off as his name is announced because he can’t let himself be distracted. Besides, maybe it was just the light? Maybe Shinra’s friend isn’t really there and it’s just someone who looks like him. The Beast turns to the pole to concentrate. 

His handcuffs are just part of the costume so he can unlock them with a little lever on the side of them, but that isn’t until later in the routine. He uses his cuffed hand to shift from one leg maneuver to the next and does more floor work off of the pole than usual. When his song is halfway through he does a kip-up and releases one hand from the cuffs. The audience is thoroughly tuned out as he attaches The now free end of the cuff to the pole. The next sequence is done with one of his hands cuffed to the pole. 

He messes up a few times but he wasn’t expecting such a difficult routine to go perfectly. Even after all that practice things happen and covering mistakes with an extra spin, an exciting display of flexibility or some kind of body roll is just as much of a developed skill as the dance itself. 

By the end of his performance, he’s sweating and has completely forgotten about Shinra’s friend. Until he bends over to grab his shirt and lifts his head to make accidental eye-contact with him. 

_ It is him. Fuck.  _

It’s no big deal, it’s fine. Lots of people he doesn’t like watch him dance and he doesn’t have to talk to the guy again. Shizuo’s just surprised. Very surprised. He needs a smoke. He changes and wipes the sweat off his face before leaving the hot club in favor of the cold back alley. Just as he’s taking the first satisfying drag into his lungs he’s startled by a voice he really wasn’t expecting to hear ever again. 

“How did you learn how to pole dance?” Swan Lake demands. He looks mad for some reason and has his hands shoved deep into his pockets against the cold. 

Shizuo narrows his eyes. “How the fuck did you get back here?” He growls, on the defensive from being followed. A stripper being stalked is  _ never  _ a good thing. He knows Vorona wouldn’t have let this guy into the back again.

Shinra’s friend rolls his eyes - Izaya, wasn’t it? Weird enough name to remember. 

“It’s an alley  _ behind _ the club. Not in it. The security for a place like this doesn’t even try to extend its reach back here.”

Shizuo pulls the cigarette out of his mouth so he doesn’t crush the filter when he grits his teeth. This guy keeps saying shit like ‘a place like this.’ Sure, Shizuo knows it’s not a nice place, but it’s  _ his _ place.

“What do you want?” 

Izaya takes a breath and looks at the dumpster he came out from behind. Shizuo has half a mind to toss him in it. 

“To know… how you learned to pole dance.” Izaya repeats in a lower voice, almost inaudible as wind whips through the narrow alley. “I mean, I know there are classes for that sort of thing.” Izaya continues, “But is that something you paid for to prepare for the job? Why would someone who has the money for classes decide to be a  _ stripper- ” _

“Drop the attitude.” Shizuo snaps. He’s sick of hearing this. ‘A place like this,’ ‘Decide to be a stripper,’ ‘ _ a stripper.’ _ This guy is such an asshole. 

Izaya rears back and has the gall to sound confused when he asks: “What attitude? I’m just asking questions.”

Shizuo tsks and flicks some ash into his cigarette envelope. 

“Either you talk to me with respect or we’re done talkin’.”

Shizuo really doesn’t care to talk to the guys anyway but he doesn’t want to let Izaya know he’s upset by his tone enough to avoid him. 

Izaya squares his shoulders and Shizuo can practically smell his pride from here. This is no doubt the last Shizuo is going to see of him. No way this bratty twink is ever going to really get off his high horse just to-

“... how did you master your… profession?”

Shizuo hasn’t choked on cigarette smoke since he was sixteen but he quickly covers it with a grunt and looks away from Izaya.

He still doesn’t like the guy’s tone but now he’s starting to wonder if Izaya just has an annoying voice.

“Um, the… the club taught me.” He stammers, still a little shocked at the revelation that pretty, little Swan Lake might actually be interested and not just making fun of him. _ Is his career falling apart or something? Does he need a plan B? _

“The club taught you all that?” Izaya asks with disbelief underlining his question.

“Well, the club taught me the basics,” Shizuo explains and takes another drag of his cigarette. “But I make up my own routines and stuff. Look up new moves on the internet n’ shit...” He’s suddenly a little embarrassed for some reason.

“I see…”

* * *

 

_ Lots of people do this for exercise _ . Izaya tells himself as he fumbles with the stand for his newest piece of… exercise equipment.

Okay, so he ordered a stripper pole online. That doesn’t  _ mean _ anything.

Eventually, Izaya manages to get the pole set up and stable in his living room. The blinds are drawn, he’s watched at least five youtube tutorials, he can do this. If that Beast can put on a show like  _ that _ without having had any proper lessons then Izaya should be five times better. No, ten times, at least.

He grabs the cool metal of the pole as high up as he can reach, squares his shoulders, and brings himself onto his toes. He takes a deep breath to think through one of the basic swings he watched a tutorial on, the fireman, was it? Not that it really matters.

He takes three steps circling the pole before swinging his outer leg up, grabbing the pole with both hands, and hooking both his ankles around the pole. He lets himself spin until he starts to lose momentum and stands upright again.

_ This is easy. _

He pointedly does not think about The Beast doing it in handcuffs.  _ It _ being pole dancing, of course.

He tries out the next few beginner spins with little difficulty since he already has more balance and strength than the average beginner. 

_ Treat him with respect, what was that? _ Izaya wasn’t disrespecting him, he was asking where he learned how to dance! It was a compliment!

In Izaya’s opinion, The Beast is far too sensitive, especially for a  _ stripper.  _

The nerve to demand respect after Izaya had already humbled himself by asking such a question. After seeing that distinctly non-laughable performance Izaya had come to the conclusion The Beast had gone through excellent training. He must have, after all, there’s no way some back-alley stripper could have more talent than Izaya. Izaya’s the one who got into all the best dance schools and The Beast clearly did not. 

But The Beast said his only teacher showed him the  _ basics _ and that he taught himself everything else. 

Therefore pole dancing must be easy and Izaya will prove it to himself. 

Izaya’s decided that the best way to try to push through his current artistic rut is to do something radically different and then go back to his normal routine feeling refreshed by the change. Like a mini vacation except he’ll be able to be as productive as possible.  

Once he’s confident with the basic he starts to mix them up a bit, piecing together a bit of a show without even really thinking about it. 

And suddenly he’s off the pole and crouched on the ground, the movement in his arms is jerky rather than slow and elegant. His feet are bowed back almost as far from a proper point as possible and then he’s on the floor and-

And that’s enough. He gets off the floor and pats his messy hair down. 

That was a hideous contortion, of course, and a waste of his talent to move in such a way. 

He snatches his phone off the couch to text Shinra to find out when he’s free to hang out somewhere  _ normal _ next.

* * *

 

Vorona’s out with Mikage today. A rock-climbing contest at the free-climb center this time. They’re always finding new ways to compete. Shizuo isn’t sure he’d want to constantly compete with his significant other but he also doesn’t know why he wouldn’t. Seems stressful to him but Vorona and her girlfriend love it, so maybe there’s something to it. All he knows is that game night with the two of them is a little intimidating. 

His work-out buddy’s absence is why he’s alone in the gym room today. Instead of hitting the bag he’s spread the flattened cardboard boxes he’s been collecting behind the couch over the concrete floor. It’s been awhile since he’s danced without a pole. But cardboard covering cold stone is his roots and it’s nice to go back sometimes. 

He’s moving quickly to the beat and feeling the release of his usually torrent emotions. Right now he’s not turning over what might be up with that Izaya guy in his head for the millionth time. No worrying about how much food he’ll be able to have after he pays his half of the rent. No dwelling on the grating catcalls he hears almost every night. No biting his lip in fear for his coworkers at the club when he’s not there. Shizuo doesn’t have much going for him but at least he can feel free like this. It’s almost peace. 

Overall he’s not unhappy with his life. Being a stripper was never ideal but he’s grateful to the club. They let him dance how he likes, for the most part, as long as he’s making money. He has friends, a place to live, and is certain he can afford to eat at least once every day. 

He’s moved on to his cooldown stretches when his phone buzzes. The caller ID reads ‘Kasuka’ so he picks it up right away, a warm smile already gracing his features. 

“Hey, Kasuka.” He answers, bending forward over his knees to grab his feet. 

“Shizuo,” His brother acknowledges. “I am calling to ask how you are.”

“‘m good,” Shizuo says automatically. “How’re you?”

“I’m well. Just finished with a photo shoot.”

Shizuo nods before responding verbally. “That’s great.”

Kasuka, never one to beat around the bush for long, asks: “Do you have a job?”

Shizuo flushes in embarrassment even though his answer is no longer a lie. 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

“Still working at the bar?”

“MmHmm…” Okay, that’s still a bit of a lie. 

“That’s great,” Kasuka says with the same enthusiasm as always. “I know you don’t like it when I ask, but do you need me to send anything.”

Shizuo shakes his head before answering. 

“No, everything’s fine.” Kasuka’s concern is completely justifiable and that makes it worse. “You don’t need to worry. How’s Ruri?”

“She is well,” Shizuo thinks he can hear his brother’s voice soften with affection but he could just be imagining it. “I am glad to know you are fine, but I have my next appointment soon. Please continue to work hard.”

“I will.”

And with that Kasuka hangs up. Most of their calls are short and follow that script. This doesn’t mean that either of them is cold. The frequency of the calls proves just the opposite. They lead very different lives. Kasuka is all over the world and Shizuo is constantly trying to balance wanting to be close to his little brother while also trying to keep him at a certain distance. Fortunately, he doesn’t have to lie about when his last meal was or if he has a job anymore. He just has to lie about what his job is, which is way easier. 

The places phone down and rolls over into a bridge position, finally finishing up his cooldown stretches… then in an anxious rush of loneliness picks up his phone again to text Celty about hanging out as soon as possible. Vorona’s a good friend but she’s not as good to talk to as Celty and even Shizuo needs someone to talk to sometimes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	4. Chapter 4

The door opens before Izaya can even knock. 

“Hey… Shinra…” Izaya trails off in confusion as he’s barred from entering his friend’s house by Shinra standing stationary in the doorway rather than moving to invite Izaya in. 

“Izaya! It’s great to see you!” Shinra chirps and Izaya can barely hear him over the TV blaring behind him with some action movie. 

“Thanks…” Izaya tilts his head up to try and discretely look over Shinra’s shoulder, immediately suspicious of the situation. Shinra catches Izaya and shifts to block his vision. 

Izaya’s brows furrow. “Is this… a bad time…?” It shouldn’t be since this is the time Shinra told him to come over but maybe something came up. But if that’s the case Shinra would just tell him bluntly and slam the door in his face. 

“Oh, no, not a bad time at all.” Shinra glances back over his shoulder and Izaya strains his neck again. Shinra tilts the door just a little bit to close off the view of the inside of the house even more. “I think it’s a perfect time, actually… Right now.”

Abruptly, Shinra opens the door up wide and grabs Izaya by the hand to pull him into the house. 

“Shi-!” Izaya’s surprise is cut off by Shinra covering his mouth. Izaya quickly gets the hint but is still giving Shinra a bewildered look as he leans into Izaya to close the door behind him quietly. Izaya’s lead by his hand towards the bedroom in a hurry. Once they’re both inside and the bedroom door is closed behind them Izaya opens his mouth to ask what’s going on when he’s cut off by fabric hitting him in the face.

“Shinra, what is going on?” Izaya demands in a hushed voice as he pulls the soft material off his face. 

“Quick, take this off.” Shinra says in an equally low voice as an answer and starts stripping Izaya of his coat. 

“Uh, excuse me?” Izaya tries to go for snarky but his voice raises a bit too high before he gets himself completely under control again. “Finally going to cheat on Celty with me?”

Shinra laughs as he tosses Izaya’s coat on the bed like Izaya just told a joke even though they both know Izaya wasn’t completely kidding. 

“Put that on,” Shinra says, gesturing to the fabric in Izaya's hand. 

Izaya holds the material up and sees its a pastel pink shirt with three-quarter inch sleeves and thin, white stripes. 

“Shinra, what is this?” Izaya sputters, somehow even more confused. 

“Emergency charm,” Shinra answers like that explains anything. Then he holds up a pair of black leggings. “And you left these here a few weeks ago, good thing, right? Put these on too. Hurry up.” He starts tugging Izaya’s shirt up for him. 

Izaya throws Shinra’s hands off, his cheeks a bit hot with embarrassment, and crosses his arms tightly to keep his shirt down. 

“If you’re going to strip me the least you could do is explain it!” Izaya hisses. 

Shinra hesitates a bit before answering. 

“Shizuo is here.”

Izaya raises his eyebrows, waiting for further clarification. “... and?”

Shinra slaps his hands over his mouth. 

“Oh! Dang it, I forgot you didn’t know!”

“Alright…” Izaya sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as he feels a headache coming on. “Let’s just pretend that I have  _ no idea _ what’s going on,” because he doesn’t, “and you explain it all to me from the top.”

“Well, it’d be pretty silly to hide it at this point, I guess,” Shinra says, shaking off his earlier blunder easily. “Shizuo is The Beast.”

...

“What?!” Izaya squeaks before quickly covering his own mouth at his outburst.

“Exactly.”

Izaya leans closer to Shinra and lowers his voice to a hiss again. “He’s  _ here? _ I thought you said you two weren’t that close? Why didn’t you tell me before I got here?” 

“I’m not really close to him, but Celty is,” Shinra explains, marching Izaya’s volume again. “And if I told you he was here you wouldn’t have come.”

“You’re right,” Izaya huffs. He turns to leave but Shinra catches his wrist before he can get to the bedroom door. 

“Wait, if you leave now he’ll definitely see you! I brought you in when he went to get a drink.” Shinra warns and that makes Izaya pause. What does that leave him to do? Hide in the bedroom until The Beast-  _ Shizuo _ , takes a bathroom break or something?

Shinra pushes the pink shirt into Izaya’s chest. “Now, put this on so you look like a strawberry milkshake and walk into the living room like it’s no big deal.”

Izaya bites his lip. Shinra’s basically backed him into a corner and now he has to own the situation. Or maybe… he glances towards the window. 

“Oh no,” Shinra steps in front of his gaze, reading Izaya’s mind  _ again _ . “Put the shirt on.”

Izaya sighs and reluctantly strips himself to put on the new outfit. He’s grateful for the heat in Shinra’s place. It turns out his own heat is broken so he’s having someone coming to repair it later today. 

“But why?...” He grumbles, making sure to pout extensively to show his distaste for the situation. 

“Why the clothes or why Shizuo?”

“Both.”

“Because you like him,” Shinra hands him the leggings next. “Don’t try to deny it, I know you too well. Plus you went to see him again.”

_ “No, _ I- ”

“I overheard him telling Celty.” Izaya flushes deeply at being caught so easily and smoothes out the shirt. 

“And I think you two got off on the wrong foot.” Shinra takes Izaya’s shoulders and turns him to face the mirror attached to the door. “I might not be that close to Shizuo but I know for a fact he likes strawberry milkshakes and cute things. So yes, you are wearing the shirt.”

Izaya sighs. Once again, he can’t argue with Shinra. 

He smooths out his messy bangs but then… bites his lip as he changes his mind and ruffles them just right. 

“That’s the spirit!” Shinra throws his arm around Izaya’s shoulders for a side hug. 

“How are we going to explain why I’m here?” Izaya asks, trying to hide his nerves even though there’s no point in trying around Shinra. 

“Shizuo is Celty’s friend so he’s here for her. You’re my friend so you’re here for me. We’re all adults, we can all hang out together.” Shinra says easily, brushing off Izaya’s worry. “You’re already over-thinking it. It’ll be fine, it’s not like he hates you.”

Izaya squashes the tiny worry that Shizuo might hate him a little, but if he does that’s Shizuo’s problem. Not Izaya’s. 

“Does Celty know you’re doing this?”

“Well… She knows I’m hanging out with you today.”

“But?”

“But she never asked where we were hanging out.”

Izaya scoffs, unable to stop the rush of affection for Shinra’s antics. It’s ridiculous but… to be fair, it’s not like Shinra has ever tried to set him up with anyone before. Granted, Izaya had a steady boyfriend for two years so he wasn’t available to do so but still…

He shakes his head. “You’re the worst.” He says instead of ‘thank you for trying for me.’

Izaya isn’t sure he wants to jump into another relationship and he certainly doubts that he’d want one with The Beast. He hardly knows anything about the dancer, hell, he just learned his real name a few minutes ago. 

But it’s not he has to go out there to try and  _ date _ the guy. Shinra’s right. This is just a bunch of adults hanging out casually and if Izaya wants to play around and flirt a little, why not? No harm in having a little fun on his day off. 

“I can’t believe you got me a shirt for this.”

Shinra laughs. “I had been thinking of getting it for your birthday but I figured you needed it now more.”

* * *

 

Shizuo had thought he heard Shinra opening the front door but when no one came in and he didn’t hear anything over the TV he quickly forgot about it. Subconsciously, he thought that maybe Shinra went out for something. Whatever it was it’s obviously not Shizuo's problem. 

He hands Celty her can of cherry soda as he sits back down on the couch next to her, one arm slung over the back of the couch in relaxation as he sips his own glass of water. They’re knee-deep in another marathon of the Alien movies. He’s seen them all at least three times because of Celty, including Alien vs Predator. He thinks it’s one of those series of movies that should have quit while they were ahead with the first one but Celty has fun watching them every time so it’s whatever.

She takes the drink from his hand with a small nod as she peers at the TV from behind a plush blanket at the suspenseful scene. Just as the music in the movie lowers, building to its climax, a door behind them opens. 

Celty jumps in her seat and lunges for Shizuo on instinct, elbowing him in the gut which in turn knocks him back against the arm of the couch. 

“Cel-ty…” He grits out, clutching his stomach. 

She pushes herself off of him, frantically signing apologies which he waves off easily. He turns to look towards the door to see Shinra followed by… Izaya???

“Celty, what are you doing so close to Shizuo?!” Shinra exclaims with all his usual drama. “If I didn’t know any better, I might be worried you’re cheating on me…”

Shizuo rolls his eyes as he catches his breath from the unexpected attack. He doesn’t even bother to look to Celty for her response because he already knows what she’ll probably say. He looks at Izaya instead, who’s standing back. 

When Izaya notices Shizuo’s stare the ballerina gives him a painful looking smile. Shizuo makes no attempt to smile back. 

“You just said my name,” Shizuo growls. It’s clear he’s talking to Shinra but his eyes are glued to Izaya.

“Ah, oops…” Shinra says apologetically. “Just slipped out… I never use your stage name at home so…”

Shizuo turns to glare at Shinra and huffs like a bull but Celty’s next to him. 

_ “It was a stupid mistake, but an honest one.”  _ She signs. 

Shizuo sighs. She’s right. He’s not really mad about Izaya knowing, in particular, he just doesn’t like how loose-lipped Shinra is. The fewer people who know his secret, the better. 

_ “I promise I’ll give him a strict talking-to.” _

“Yes! I really, really think you should punish me, dar-!” Shinra’s cut off by Celty jabbing him in the gut, purposefully. 

“Please don’t be disgusting in front of me.” Izaya pointedly looks away from Shinra’s antics. He sounds tired in the way Shizuo imagines a friend of Shinra’s would be. 

Shizuo decides it would be for the best if he turns away from the whole situation and just watches the movie. Although he can’t help but wonder what such a prideful, ‘professional’ person is doing hanging out a weirdo like Shinra. Shizuo at least has a good reason to be in Shinra’s house. Celty. 

Shinra sits next to Celty, forcing a space for himself between Shizuo and Celty. No surprise there. 

“Don’t just stand there, Izaya! Come sit with us!”

The only space left on the couch is next to Shizuo on his left. That’s just great. But there’s no way in hell Shizuo is going to let Izaya see him sweat over something so minor. Because it’s no big deal. The last time they talked the conversation ended perfectly civilly. He does not turn to look at Izaya but he is watching the currently empty space on the couch out of the corner of his eye.

It takes a little bit before Izaya does join them on the couch, pressing himself against the arm of the couch while still trying to make his body language appear nonchalant. An absolute waste of an attempt at trying to look unaffected. Shizuo has to force himself not to roll his eyes. Of course, Princess Odette wouldn’t want to be near someone so dirty. 

The movie marathon resumes but Shizuo can’t pay any attention at all because he’s hyper-aware of every breath and shift from the ballerina next to him. By taking sneaky glances Shizuo can see Izaya’s eyes stubbornly glued to the screen. Glancing a little lower Shizuo’s eyes catch on the wide neckline of Izaya’s shirt that frames bird-like collar bones. Shizuo quickly looks away.

…

He glances back to Izaya again to take in the pale colors that make the edges of Izaya’s body appear faded because of Izaya’s equally fair skin. The pastel shirt looks foreign compared to the all-black Shizuo has seen Izaya wear. Behind the club, Izaya had worn an ugly black parka that left his body a complete mystery. Now, in only a thin cotton, shirt, Shizuo can see that Izaya’s very slender body with any meat on his bones being muscle as is demanded by his profession. 

_ Pretty boy twink. _

Shizuo looks back at the screen.

_ I want a strawberry milkshake. _

Once they finish that movie and Celty begins to prepare the next one Shinra stands up to stretch. And Shizuo just knows something stupid is about to come out of Shinra's mouth.

“I’ve got an idea!”

“Of course, you do…” Izaya mumbles quietly, looking towards the front door. Shizuo holds in a snort. He’s thinking about running too.

Shinra continues as if he didn’t hear Izaya, and he might not have.

“Let’s make this into a drinking game!” Before any of them can agree or disagree Shirna walks towards the kitchen. 

Izaya immediately sits up on his knees and turn to glare over the back of the couch at Shinra.

_ “No, _ let’s not make this a drinking game.” He snaps.

Shizuo agrees with Izaya but from his change in position, Shizuo gets a look at the other dancer’s firm, shapely ass in leggings.

“Come on, Izaya, it’ll be fun!” Shinra calls from the kitchen over the clinking of glasses and bottles as he’s already getting the alcohol. 

Izaya turns to Celty and Shizuo quickly follows his gaze to look at her as well. After all, he wants to see what Celty is going to say too. It’s certainly not because he was staring at Izaya’s ass for an inappropriate amount of time.  _ Not my fault there’s a lot to look at back there… _

“Well, Celty wouldn’t want us to distract from her favorite movie. Right?” Izaya says as if there’s any way he could distract from the fact that he’s the one protesting the drinking game. Besides…

_ “Prometheus isn’t my favorite,” _ Celty signs.  _ “In fact, I think I might need a drink or two to get through this one myself…” _ She gives a good-natured smile. Shizuo nods. Being a fan of the franchize doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her criticisms of it. It just means her criticisms are a lot more in-depth, as Shizuo and likely Shinra are well-aware of.

“There we go!” Shirna says decisively as he carries a precarious pile of glass over to the living room in his arms. Shizuo could get up and help him. He could.

“What do you think, my darling?” Shinra asks as places the bottle of booze on the table and starts passing out glasses. “Take a drink every time an alien goes into someone or burst out of them?”

Celty nods and accepts her glass, her shoulders shaking a bit with silent laughter.

_ “And we should chug when someone asks an existential question.” _

Shinra laughs at that, still standing in front of Izaya and pushing the last empty glass into his cheek while Izaya’s arms remain firmly crossed.

“Chug? You, my dear, don’t want to see the rest of tonight happen.”

Celty uncaps the bottle and fills her own glass.

_ “Well, we’re not using that many events. But we could change it to just a drink if you also agree to take a drink every time someone looks towards the camera blankly.” _

“Nah, let’s do the chug one.” Shizuo grunts, taking the bottle from Celty as he finally joins the conversation. “The less I gotta remember to pay attention to, the better.” He wasn’t really in the mood to get drunk tonight but Celty seems to be and he likes drinking with her. Although, partying with Celty and drinking for free comes with the price of seeing Shinra drunk…

“Alright! Shizuo’s in!” Shinra cheers and finally turns to look at Izaya who’s refusing to look at any of them. Like a cat who’s pretending that he doesn’t even know anyone else is in the room.

“Izaya, you too.” He says, rolling the empty glass against Izaya’s pouting cheek. “Just one movie. I’ll even call you a taxi later.”

“How generous,” Izaya grumbles. But he still isn’t budging. 

“Come on. Izaya… Unless you’re afraid of a little  _ fun. _ ” 

Shizuo raises an eyebrow as Izaya does turn to glare at Shinra at that. The two of them appear to exchange a short, silent conversation that Shizuo couldn’t hope to understand and ultimately Izaya is reaching up to finally snatch the glass from Shinra’s hand.

“Yes!” Shinra cheers, placing his own empty glass on the coffee table. He leaves the living room again to bring over some snacks for this impromptu party.

Shizuo passes Izaya the bottle without looking at him.

“You know… you could probably just fake it after the first few drinks. There’s no way Shinra is going to lift his head from Celty’s shoulder once he gets tipsy. ” Shizuo says to the floor between his feet. Next to him, Celty nods in agreement.

_ “I wouldn’t want you to have a hangover if you’re busy tomorrow.” _

Shizuo grunts in agreement. “Yeah, no offense or anything, but… You look like a lightweight. So take it easy.”

* * *

 

First, Shinra springs this whole thing on him. Next, Shizuo has the gall to not even look at him even though he’s wearing the stupid shirt that Shinra insisted on. Then, Shinra makes him play this stupid drinking. And then stupid Shizuo challenges his ability to keep up! Well, let the record show that Izaya can rise to meet any challenge. Even one from a big, dumb, beast.

The Beast may be stupid but he is also very, very attractive.

Shinra’s been sobbing into Celty’s shoulder in the kitchen for ten minutes now about how much he loves her and how she’s too good for him and it serves him right. Celty, who can hold her alcohol very well, has her hands full with Shinra and is trying to get him to drink some water. This leaves Shizuo and Izaya to themselves. Neither of them is paying attention to the movie, of course. The movie’s almost over and Izaya has no idea what happened in it except that it was in space.

The alcohol helped Izaya relax a bit more, which was good. Admittedly, he completely botched his plan to tease and flirt with Shizuo the second their eyes met when he came out of Shinra's room. But as the drinking game went on his body melted away from the arm of the couch and he allowed himself to take up more space. Now his legs are curled up comfortably and he’s pushing his perpetually cold toes under Shizuo to steal his warmth.

“You’re feet are fuckin’ cold.” Shizuo grunts, shoving at Izaya’s legs half-heartedly which Izaya ignores.

“You’ve got warmth to spare…” Izaya wiggles his toes under Shizuo and tries to hold in a giggle by taking another sip as a nice thought pops into his head. “I could use a personal heater like you… My apartment is so cold.”

Shizuo chuckles as Izaya wiggles his toes and he shoves Izaya’s legs away successfully before reaching over his knees to pulls Izaya’s glass out of his hand. “Stop that. N’ you’re already drunk. Don’ tell me you’ll drink bottom-shelf for the taste, princess?”

“I am not a princess,” Izaya says with an offended gasp. However, he does let Shizuo take the drink from his hand. Shizuo is right, after all. He’s drunk enough to be warm everywhere except for his toes and the alcohol Shinra was willing to waste on them was probably re-packaged paint-thinner anyway.

Izaya leans forward to rest his chin on his knees as Shizuo leans back to put the glass on the coffee table. He lets himself stare the thickness of The Beast’s neck and the veins on his toned forearms openly, humming in appreciation. When Shizuo catches Izaya starring he has just enough liquid courage in his body to not look away. Instead, he lowers his lashes and tilts his chin up to expose more of his neck which he knows the shirt shows off beautifully. The motion earns him the pleasure of Shizuo’s eyes flitting down to  _ finally _ check Izaya out. Even if it’s only briefly.

“You know, Mister Beast…” Izaya begins before he can properly think through the consequences of his words. “I’m not so sure that stage name suits you. Your last performance was more like a magic show than a wild animal or whatever your  _ thing _ is supposed to be.”

Shizuo turns so his body is facing Izaya’s and slings his arm over the back of the couch with a grin.

“Oh yeah?” He chuckles. “Well, you’ve seen two of my shows so you must be an expert. What would you call me?”

Izaya hums in thought and his eyes wander up into Shizuo’s blond hair. He remembers back to the first show he saw and the swirl of gold glitter that Shizuo shook out of it into the audience. He wonders if he were to run his hands through Shizuo’s hair, would he find a few stubborn specs of glitter still clinging to it? Well, 'Gold Glitter' isn’t a very sexy stripper name anyway.

Suddenly, he remembers one more feature from the first Beast show he saw.

“You could be called White Rabbit!” Izaya suggests as soon as the idea pops into his head.

Shizuo laughs and shakes his head at the idea.

“No, no, listen,” Izaya insists as he starts to feel Shizuo’s contagious laughter catch at his lips. “You were wearing bunny ears at the first one I saw and then the second was like a magic show. And pulling rabbits out of a hat is magic!”

Shizuo laughs even harder.

“Izaya… ha aha… No, that’s such a bad idea…” He says between gasps for air.

Izaya doesn’t see what’s so funny except for the way that Shizuo laughs makes Izaya want to laugh too.

“No it isn’t, it’s clever!” He pouts even as he chuckles a few times in spite of himself.

“Well, I guess it’s not the worst idea,” Shizuo admits as the laughter slows down. “It’s way better than what the club first suggested calling me.”

Izaya perks up at the possibility of finding out what stripper name Shizuo could have had that was even more ridiculous than ‘The Beast.’

“What was it?” Izaya demands, shifting closer to Shizuo and glancing down at his smiling lips. Izaya thinks Shizuo’s smile is way more charming than his ‘beastly’ scowl for the stage. Although the scowl is pretty sexy…

“The Milk Man.”

“No!” Izaya gasps, immediately losing himself in laughter. “Oh, no! That’s so bad!”

“I know,” Shizuo laughs along with Izaya. “They dropped that idea pretty quick but ‘m never gonna forget when someone suggested  _ that _ to me.”

Izaya covers his mouth to try and contain his giggles at all the cliche porn scenarios and scenes that come to mind. Not to mention the dirty images, but those are slightly less laughable. Izaya’s sure his face would hurt from how much he’s smiling if it weren’t for the slight numbing effect of the alcohol.

“I don’t think ‘The Beast’ is really me either, but ‘m not complainin’ if ‘Milk Man” is the alternative…” This time Shizuo shifts closer. He brings his leg up onto the couch and slips his foot between Izaya’s hip and the back of the couch and braces it against the arm of the couch that’s at Izaya’s back. Shizuo leans forward to rest his arm on his bent knee, his other leg still on the floor. He gives Izaya a grin with half-lidded eyes, returning the look that Izaya gave him earlier.

Izaya is suddenly floored by a level of seduction that he was not prepared for at all. Shizuo’s heat, which was pleasant a minute ago, is suddenly sweltering hot now that he’s so close with Izaya sitting curled up between his legs. Izaya can’t help but glance down and wonder if he should slip his legs over Shizuo’s to rest them on either side of the man’s hips. He quickly looks back up at Shizuo’s, realizing where he was just staring. 

Maybe Izaya wouldn’t mind a visit from the ‘Milk Man’...

No, he can’t say that. Izaya struggles for something better to say as Shizuo looks down at him with smoldering, dark eyes and a confident smile. But all Izaya can come up with under the pressure that isn’t ‘come back to my apartment’ is-

“What would my stripper name be?”

Shizuo blinks rapidly, caught off guard, and barks out another laugh.

“What? I don’t know.”

Izaya grins back and feels a little bit of his composure returning as Shizuo’s stare breaks.

“Come on, I need a character to get into when I’m on the pole.” He presses, letting his tightly curled legs relax a bit and drift towards Shizuo a little more.

“You don’t get on the pole. You’re a  _ professional ballerina. _ ” Shizuo says, teasing Izaya lightheartedly.

Izaya puffs up his cheeks in an exaggerated pout. Shinra did say Shizuo liked cute, right? 

“I’ve practiced the basics.” He protests, forgetting that is one of the things he should absolutely never ever admit to.

Suddenly, Shizuo’s smile falters and his brows knit together in concern.

“Izaya… are you… trying to learn how to be a stripper?” He asks, much too seriously for Izaya’s liking. Izaya’s cheeks flush deeply in self-consciousness.

“ _ No, _ ” he gasps before he can think that maybe he’s using the wrong tone because he’s so caught off-guard. Although now that he thinks about it, maybe the question really wasn’t that sudden at all. “I mean… No, I just tried it because I was curious, that’s all.” That really is the truth on the situation. He just hopes that Shizuo sees it that way.

Thankfully, Shizuo does seem to relax at that.

“Oh, my bad. In that case…” Shizuo hums and grabs his chin in thought. Izaya giggles as he suddenly gets the image of Shizuo as an old man with a beard in his head.

“Princess,” Shizuo says, nodding to himself.

“I’m not a princess!”

“Princess Odette.”

Izaya scoffs at that. “Like from Swan Lake? Is that the only ballet you know?”

“The Nutcracker.”

“Be serious!” Izaya laughs. Although that last one wasn’t that bad…

“I am being serious!” Shizuo protests, although his laughter suggests otherwise. “How about Strawberry Milkshake?”

That makes Izaya remember what Shinra had said earlier. He makes a mental note to reward Shinra later. Still, he shakes his head to reject that name as well.

“Nope. Totally not me at all.”

“Well, I only know that you’re a ballerina. So unless you like ‘Jailbait’ ‘m fresh outta ideas.” Shizuo grunts with a shrug.

Izaya grins. No, not at the name ‘Jailbait,’ but at the insinuation that Shizuo needs to get to know Izaya better. Izaya can work with that. He leans forward, reaching out, only to make a detour to the coffee table to grab Shizuo’s glass of water that he had been sipping throughout the night. He brings the glass up to his own lips and tips his head back for a drink. The moment the water touches his tongue he realizes just how thirsty he was and takes a few greedy gulps before he’s had enough and lowers his chin again.

“Mmm…” He hums with delight at the refreshing drink and licks his lips. “Guess you’ll just have to see what I can do sometime. Maybe then you’ll get a better idea of what to call me.”

Shizuo’s eyes seem even darker as he reaches towards Izaya. He’s eyeing Izaya’s damp lips but he grabs the glass. Shizuo’s fingers brush Izaya’s own rather than grabbing for his jaw like Izaya wishes Shizuo would as he lifts the glass from Izaya’s hand. The Beast lifts the glass to his own lips and tips his head back to drink the last of the water. Izaya watches as Shizuo’s throat bobs as he swallows and Izaya wonders if Shizuo watched as Izaya swallowed too.

“Yeah,” Shizuo rasps as he brings the glass down from his lips. “Guess I will have to see that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Izaya’s not really hungover per say… okay, he might be a little hungover but at least he remembers last night so it wasn’t that bad.

… okay, he remembers Shizuo helping him into his taxi but after that, it’s a bit of a blur. All Izaya knows for sure is that Shizuo didn’t come home with him. And he remembers pouting over that because he always gets horny when he’s drunk, which is why he didn’t want to drink in the first place, _Shinra._ And he’s pretty sure his heater was fixed, but the details are long gone. Oh well, at least it’s warm in his apartment and he didn’t embarrass himself last night. Probably.

He pulls himself out of bed an hour later than usual to go through his morning routine. A shower, the scale, his meticulous skin care routine, and a cup of black coffee.

Halfway through the cup, he receives a text from an unknown number at exactly 10:09 AM.

[my boss says we can have the stage at noon if you still think you can impress me]

Izaya’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. He reads it a few more times, trying to wrap his head around the cryptic message before it hits him.

Last night he told Shizuo that he’d show him his moves. Fuck, he shouldn’t have said that… But more than anything, he’s surprised Shizuo took it seriously enough to contact him about it. When did Izaya give Shizuo his number… was it after Celty had announced that she would be taking Shinra to bed or as Shizuo was helping him to his cab…? Izaya supposes the finer details of last night don’t really matter anyway. The real question is whether or not Izaya wants to go through with what he said. He could pass it off as a joke, or drunken babble, or avoid Shizuo altogether.

… Whatever Izaya does, he really shouldn’t go through with it. This is a rabbit hole that can only spiral down further into depravity. Izaya’s had more than enough fun and can’t keep using his break up as an excuse to make bad choices. He’s missed enough extra rehearsal time as it is.

But then again… Shizuo did text ‘if you still think you can impress me,’ and obviously, Izaya can. Who would he be if he didn’t prove the beast wrong?

 _Just once more._ Izaya promises himself. _Just one more time and then I’ll be satisfied. Shizuo surely can’t be interesting for much longer. I’ll prove him wrong and learn his techniques and that’ll be it._

[Just make sure there’s a spotlight big enough for me.] Izaya shoots back, biting his lip to try and keep the smile off his face. By the time Shizuo’s quick response buzzes into his phone Izaya’s already saved Shizuo as a contact.

[plenty big enough for you but not so sure it’ll be big enough for the both of us]

Izaya’s coffee manages to go cold for the first time because he’s too busy texting Shinra about what he should wear. This time, when he goes to see Shizuo, he’ll be ready and he won’t need alcohol to loosen him up.

…

Shizuo had told Izaya that he would meet him outside the club to make sure he didn’t have any problems getting in at this hour. As Izaya’s cab approaches the club he can feel his anxious excitement growing steadily. Regularly performing under high pressure since a young age means Izaya is no stranger to a bit of nerves. But Izaya can’t remember the last time he felt so excited to get on stage - he must have been very young and still seeking to soak up his parent’s pride like a leaf soaking up the sun. This excitement is different.

Izaya has the cab stop a block away from the club and walks the rest of the way with his fur-lined hood up around his face like a security blanket. When the wind blows familiar tickle from the wisps of fur against his cheeks bring on a sudden, unwelcome memory. Two years ago, in the very beginning of his previous relationship, his ex had said he liked Izaya’s fur jacket. Well, he never said ‘liked,’ exactly. His ex had called it ‘unique’ and ‘charming’ that Izaya wore, and still wears, this jacket every, every day. But ‘unique’ and ‘charming’ had turned into ‘tacky,’ ‘embarrassing’ and ‘let me buy you something new.’ In hindsight, Izaya really should have seen that coming. _Charming_ was never a real compliment from the man…

Izaya shakes off the memory and ducks his chin a bit to feel the familiar fur brush his sensitive lips for a bit of comfort. Soon, he sees a mop of blond hair above a layering of shapeless jackets outside the club. Shizuo is waiting for him with a cigarette hanging off his lips, just like he said he would be. Izaya’s heart jumps and he swallows it back down quickly. Thankfully, Shizuo hasn’t seen him yet. So they don’t have to awkwardly smile at each other as Izaya walks the last ten meters to him.

“You made it,” Shizuo comments around the cigarette as Izaya gets close. “Was wonderin’ if your hangover would be too much today.”

Izaya flushes a bit at the tease. “I wasn’t _that_ drunk,” he scoffs, trying to play it off.

Shizuo just shrugs and pulls a hand out of his pocket with his cigarette envelope between his pointer and middle finger to do a wiggly hand motion. That only makes Izaya more embarrassed!

“Let’s go inside. Fuckin’ cold out here.” Shizuo grunts and stuffs the remainder of the cigarette into the envelope. It strikes Izaya as a bit off-color that Shizuo uses a cigarette envelope rather than just tossing the butt onto the sidewalk but the more he learns about the man, the more unusual he seems.

Shizuo leads the way inside the club and takes Izaya past a bouncer he doesn’t recognize with a nod. The club is completely empty except for some employees. Without colorful lights and the pounding music, it seems like an entirely different place.

Suddenly, Izaya realizes another reason he’s nervous. It’s the setting. This isn’t the dance studio or a stage with heavy, velvet curtains. It’s basically a warehouse with a loose smattering of people who might as well be from an entirely different planet than Izaya’s own. He feels like an invader, completely unfamiliar with the culture here.

“So, when did you start to try pole dancing?” Shizuo asks, drawing Izaya’s attention to him as he strips off three old and stained light jackets, tossing them onto an empty chair.

“Not very long ago…” Izaya answers vaguely. He doesn’t want Shizuo to know he only tried it because of The Beast. If he’s lucky, Shizuo will just assume Shinra brought Izaya to the club in the first place because of his interest in pole dancing and not the other way around.

He grips the zipper of his jacket between his thumb and pointer finger to do as Shizuo does - but he hesitates. A wave of self-consciousness crashes over him when he sees what Shizuo is wearing. Shizuo’s just in some generic tee-shirt and shorts like he just rolled out of bed, but Izaya looks like he _tried_ with his outfit.

 _Damn you, Shinra_.

Never mind that Izaya messaged Shinra asking for advice in the first place. It’s easier to blame his absent friend.

Shizuo doesn’t seem to notice Izaya’s hesitation as he’s not looking at all. He jumps up onto the stage and starts doing some warm-up stretches.

“How about you show me what you can do first and then we can just do whatever from there?”

Izaya would wonder how Shizuo can be so casual about this whole thing if it wasn’t something he did probably every day. Izaya spends a lot of time working up to a performance while Shizuo is constantly performing.

When Shizuo finally looks back at Izaya that spurs Izaya into movement. What Izaya’s wearing is certainly no more bold than some of the dance costumes he’s worn in front of thousands and it’s not like he bought the outfit for today specifically. He just has to treat this like a performance. As long as he looks confident in his choices and it will be fine.

He unzips the safety of his coat and shrugs it off his shoulders to let it slide down his arms to drop on the chair behind him.

“Alright,” He drawls, perfectly nonchalant about the breeze around his midriff that feels much more uncomfortable than it does in the studio or his apartment.

Izaya saunters to the black stage and pulls himself up onto it -  the residual glitter sticking to his palms immediately. Shizuo probably always has glitter sticking to some part of him.

Shizuo is waiting in the center of the stage for Izaya, one hand on the pole and the other hand on his hip. He’s looking straight at Izaya without so much as glancing at Izaya’s body and it’s incredibly frustrating. Izaya knows he looks good and this is his hottest crop top! It’s tight and sleeveless with a high neckline. Not to mention the _color_ that’s almost the exact same shade of red as the iconic Rouge Coco lipstick from Chanel. How could Shizuo _not_ be checking him out right now??

_Confidence. Be confident._

Izaya tells himself, keeping his expression in a cool half-smile.

“I only know the basics.” Izaya reiterates, walking right up to Shizuo and grabbing the pole right below Shizuo. He flashes a toothy grin up at Shizuo. “So maybe save the handcuffs for the second date.”

Shizuo laughs but he doesn’t back down from Izaya invading his personal space on a _stage_.

“I’ll be sure that keep that in mind.” Shizuo teases, returning Izaya’s grin. It’s almost like last night. Except they’re both sober.

But they’re here to dance. So Shizuo steps back to let Izaya have the pole.

“So you at least know how to get on it?” Shizuo asks, relaxing his posture back and placing both hands on his hips.

“Of course, I can do that much.” Never mind that Izaya has only tried it once before.

He reviews the technique in his head. _Three steps around the pole, lift the outside leg, hook the foot around the pole, and spin._ He rises up onto the balls of his feet as he would for any dance, moves his hand up to grip the pole high above his head, sets his shoulders, and starts walking.

It doesn’t take him long to show Shizuo the different spins that he knows. It’s not like Izaya knows that many tricks. In turn, Shizuo pays close attention to the entire demonstration. The Beast’s eyes constantly burn Izaya’s awareness but he manages to keep the self-conscious blush off his cheeks by reminding himself that Shizuo’s judging his technique as a professional. There’s no way Izaya’s doing anything more impressive or sexy than Shizuo’s likely seen before.

“That’s all I know… right now.” Izaya says as he touches down from his last spin, not looking at Shizuo. His nerves are quickly returning as he realizes how short his demonstration was. That he came here thinking he could show off when knowing so little. If it was ballet it would be different, of course, but this is pole dancing.

Shizuo nods in understanding. “Hell of a lot more than I knew when I first got on this stage.” He says, having the audacity to sound so genuinely impressed that it makes Izaya… turn to look at his face.

Izaya hasn’t known Shizuo for very long but by now he’s noticed a few things about him: he almost always looks grumpy and when he doesn’t he looks neutral unless he’s being playful. But right now Shizuo doesn’t look grumpy or neutral or playful. He looks… softer. And that throws Izay off way more than fake admiration would.

“Yes, well…” Izaya struggles a bit for a way to respond.

_Confidence._

“It’s not like this is my first time dancing in any form.”

Shizuo nods again and approaches Izaya.

“Yeah, I think experience with dance really helps. It’s not like my first time dancin' was on a pole.”

That catches Izaya off guard a bit, although he’s careful not to let it show. Of course, it was always possible Shizuo danced before becoming a stripper, likely, even, given his skill level. But Izaya has never really connected those dots until Shizuo said it. It makes him wonder… what kind of dancer was Shizuo? Why didn’t it work out if he’s obviously talented?

But Izaya doesn’t ask any of his questions. He and Shizuo really aren’t friends like that. They’re hardly friends at all. He wouldn’t want to sound _too_ interested or invasive and push Shizuo away. He wants to be the one losing interest in Shizuo, not the other way around.

“Pole dancin' is a specific skill,” Shizuo continues, grabbing onto the pole again. “But not all the dancin' has to be on the pole if you’re new to it and puttin' on a show.”

Shaking off his thoughts Izaya leans in close to Shizuo again.

“That’s when you come out all huffing and puffing, right?” He teases. “Oh, that’s another possible name for you. The Big Bad Wolf.”

Shizuo snorts and lightly pushes Izaya away from the pole.

“Why don’t you work on your own name?”

Izaya steps back with an easy laugh. He doesn’t need to work on a name for himself because he’s never going to strip, obviously, but Shizuo would probably take that the wrong way if he said it.

“I’ll show you some of the flashier looking stuff.” Shizuo day, squaring up to the pole. “If you think you can keep up.”

Izaya places his hands on his hips and lets them jut out to one side, grinning at Shizuo.

“Would you really be showing me if you didn’t think I could?”

Shizuo’s smile softens as he shakes his head. Izaya was not ready for his heart to skip a beat just then.

“Right. Onto one-handed moves, it is then.”

* * *

When Izaya appeared before him outside the club, knocking Shizuo out of his daydream, he was not expecting the little rush of excitement he felt. He had a pretty good time last night even though Izaya’s a little… touchy when he’s really drunk. Still, he had Izaya’s number and Izaya had seemed like he really wanted to try dancing with Shizuo at the time. There was no harm in sending a follow-up text in the morning. The worst that Izaya could have done was say no.

Then, Shizuo had gotten up on the stage to get them started. And just as Shizuo had dismissed his excitement for the novelty of getting to be someone’s teacher Izaya dropped his coat onto one of the front-row seats. Shizuo looked away as quickly as possible when he saw Izaya’s body because he was afraid if he didn’t he’d get stuck staring way too much.

Shizuo hadn’t expected Izaya to be wearing something so form fitting. He had already seen Izaya in leggings so seeing them again wasn’t too much of a surprise - he’s not used to it but it’s not a surprise, at least. The only difference with the leggings today was that they came about halfway down his calves rather than being full-length. The real show-stopper was the shirt. It was a _crop top._ Crop tops aren't really a big deal to Shizuo, plenty of his co-workers have worn one at some point, but on Izaya it immediately felt very unfair. Shizuo had already decided not to take Izaya’s advances too seriously because he was drunk when he made them last night. But this was just mean.

Shizuo managed to avoid looking at Izaya by doing some stretches but once he got up on stage there was no avoiding it. Izaya came right up to him, the shadow of the ballerina’s clavicle tauntingly hidden from view by the tight neck of the shirt. The way Izaya was dressed last night was definitely cute and while Izaya’s neck had been exposed than the rest of his body was obscured by the loose-fitting pink sweater.

Today Izaya was sexy. No two ways about it. And he moved with too much grace and smelled way too good to be drunk.

Shizuo was genuinely impressed with how much Izaya was able to do as a beginner. Admittedly, he was way more impressed with the beautiful arch of Izaya’s back and the way the lean muscles of his arms and legs worked to hold his body weight with so much elegance. Watching Izaya move made Shizuo want to fit his hand into the small of Izaya’s exposed lower back. He wanted to touch that tight chest over the smooth, sinfully red fabric that kept it hidden. Most of all, he wanted to be invited to Izaya’s apartment again.

But no. Izaya had been drunk when he tried to bring Shizuo home last night. That didn’t count.

Now it’s Shizuo’s turn on the pole. With the help of conversation, Shizuo has been able to shake off his dirty thoughts for the most part. He meant what he said to Izaya, of course, but he certainly didn’t tell the other man all his thoughts about the demonstration.

He takes a breath to focus himself and shows Izaya a couple more complicated moves. Nothing Izaya couldn’t handle considering his obvious experience with handling his own body weight. Still, Shizuo struggles. Not because he can’t do the moves. He’s just never had to put them into words before. For Shizuo, dancing is all about how it feels and muscle memory. Trying to verbally explain a technique just results in a bunch of vague, unorganized nonsense coming out of his mouth.

“Well. Um. How about I just do it slowly a few times and then you try it?” Shizuo sighs in defeat after a few partial attempts to explain.

Izaya’s face is warped by barely contained amusement at Shizuo’s utter failure with words. It’s so strange yet so cute that Shizuo can’t help but chuckle.

“Yes, I think that would be best,” Izaya replies with an almost transparent giggle lacing together his words.

The two of them take turns on the pole. Izaya proves to be a very fast learner but Shizuo isn’t surprised.

Soon, Izaya’s combining different spins and experimenting and Shizuo’s showing off his favorite combos. Shizuo normally has fun when he’s practicing on the pole but with Izaya trying to challenge him and teasing him - even as a beginner - it feels fresh and exciting.

“How long have you been doing this?” Izaya teases as he spins hands-free with the pole clenched between his tight thighs. “Careful, Mr. Beast, I might show you up in an afternoon.”

Before Shizuo can shoot back a snarky reply the club’s usual DJ is doing it for him.

“Show him how it’s done, Shizuo!” Kida calls as he starts to spin one of Shizuo’s songs. Shizuo’s surprised he’s setting up so early but one glance around the room answers his question. The few staff that are in the club at this hour are loving this. They all cheer as Kida turns up the volume on the speakers, looking up at the stage from their various cleaning duties. It’s not a big audience by any stretch of the imagination. Still, Shizuo looks to Izaya, since this is meant to be fun and not intimidating.

Izaya hops off the pole with one final spin and steps towards Shizuo with a big smirk on his face. He gets close enough to brush his fingertips across Shizuo’s chest before he finally speaks in a low voice.

“Go ahead. Show me how it’s done.”

Shizuo matches his smirk as the barely-there touch of Izaya’s fingertips seems to burn though Shizuo’s shirt to brand the center of his chest. If Izaya doesn’t care about the audience then it’s fine with Shizuo.

He brushes past Izaya to the pole once again.

“I’ve been going easy on you.” Shizuo turns to lean his back against the pole, his arms raised to grip the metal high above his head. “Try not to feel too bad, _Little Red_ _.”_

Right as the bass drops Shizuo tenses his abdomen and brings his legs up to the pole, flipping straight upside down, and his co-workers cheer. They’ve all seen him do this sort of thing a million times before but their enthusiasm still pumps Shizuo up. Just a little bit.

He doesn’t really have a routine in mind. He’s just enjoying himself and feeling the beat of the music pulsing through his veins.

“Take it off!” Kida shouts over the pounding music from his station and Shizuo can’t hold back his smile. From Kida, it’s not the same as someone catcalling from the audience when he’s working. The context right now is completely different. He’s among friends.

But no, he does not take his shirt off. He’s busy dancing.

Shizuo’s not The Beast right now so he’s able to let go and release his energy through his dance - much like how he does on the flattened cardboard boxes in the basement of his apartment. By the end of his improv show, he’s blending some of his favorite breakdance moves in with his pole dancing.

As the song ends Shizuo practically throws himself off the pole at Izaya. He’s emboldened by the energy in the room and scoops Izaya up without warning by his waist to spin him. He laughs as Izaya gasps in surprise. Normally, Shizuo would never do this. But right now it feels right. He may not know much about Izaya but being able to share something they’re both passionate about has made Shizuo feel a closeness he wasn’t expecting. He just hopes he’s not reading the atmosphere wrong and freaking Izaya out. His instincts are normally pretty good but there’s always a chance.

He spins Izaya towards the pole as the new song comes on. This one is slow and deep. It throbs through the club at a different pace but when Izaya grabs the pole with a smile Shizuo knows that he’s feeling the energy too.

Izaya has learned a lot since in such a short amount of time. He doesn’t have the same amount of exciting, and frankly dangerous, moves that Shizuo can do. But what he doesn’t have in pole dancing experience he makes up for with style and feeling. As Izaya’s dance goes on his movements become more sudden and wild. Not at all like the ballerina he claims to be. It’s more like…

Izaya’s dance ends with him on the floor, his back contorted in a strange yet alluring way as he catches his breath and the song ends suddenly.

“Oh, wow.” Shizuo approaches Izaya and bends at the waist to offer him a hand up. “I didn’t know you did modern dance too.”

This seems to startle Izaya into movement. He jolts at Shizuo’s words and gets up quickly without the offered hand.

“I- I don’t do _modern dance._  I’m a ballerina.” He says, quickly brushing himself off. Not that he won’t be finding glitter who-know-where weeks from now. Shizuo knows that from experience.

But the mood is broken and has suddenly turned cold. Shizuo blinks in confusion. Was it something he said…?

“O... kay,” Shizuo pulls his hand back hesitantly, his brows furrowing as the song changes into a wild guitar riff. The moment has passed and Shizuo can’t properly enjoy the song. “But it looked like modern dance to me.”

“What do you know?” Izaya snaps, jumping off the stage. “How much culture could you experience when you’re relying on this place to pay your bills?”

 _“Hey.”_ Shizuo growls, following Izaya off the stage. Izaya’s words are completely uncalled for but Shizuo’s too confused to be completely angry. “What’s your problem?”

Izaya ignores him and starts to pull his jacket on. Their audience has caught onto the sudden mood change as well but Kida tries to keep the positive vibes by playing with the soundtrack and shouting a few puns through the mic that he’s insisting will be great for the club tonight. Shizuo appreciates Kida’s effort to keep the attention off of him and Izaya but it’s not really working.

Shizuo follows Izaya as he storms for the exit. “We were both havin’ a great time just a minute ago,” he presses. “What gives?”

Izaya turns suddenly to fix Shizuo with a glare, stopping him in his tracks. Shizuo almost topples over Izaya from the unexpected shift from a power-walk to a stand-still.

“Were we?” Izaya tips his chin up to glare at Shizuo down his nose. Actually making an effort to physically look down on him despite the height difference.

Shizuo sets his jaw, standing his ground because he knows he isn’t wrong.

“Yes, we were. No one forced you to be here.”

Izaya jerks back as if Shizuo hit him and before Shizuo can say anything else he turns to burst out the front door. Shizuo wants to stop him or follow him, and demand answers but… Izaya’s his own person. A confusing person but Shizuo can’t force him to stay and talk if he doesn’t want to. He huffs in frustration and ruffles his hair, turning back into the club. He’s got a show in two hours anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What songs are you all imagining they're dancing too? I'd love to hear them!
> 
> More to come.


	6. Chapter 6

 

The TV is playing Hanamaru Kindergarten while Izaya stuffs his face with fatty tuna. He knows the way he turned on Shizuo was completely out of nowhere and he knows he shouldn’t have said the things he did. Because Shizuo was right, Izaya was having fun. The most fun he’s had on stage in a very long time. Now he can’t ever have fun with Shizuo like that again and it’s not even really on Izaya’s terms.

The pole he bought has already been hastily dismantled and stuffed in a closet so he won’t have to look at it anymore and his phone is turned off so he won’t have to hear the constant vibrations of Shinra trying to contact him. Izaya already knows that Shinra knows what happened. Because Celty told Shinra about it out of concern and Shizuo told her about it because he apparently tells her everything. Shizuo was venting, no doubt. Izaya doesn’t actually know what Shizuo said about him but he just _knows_ Shizuo probably said Izaya was crazy or something.

The next episode starts and the bright theme song fills his apartment again. Izaya has no idea what episode it is. He’s been too busy feeling sorry for himself to pay attention to the marathon of episodes he’s recorded. Just another _crazy_ thing about Izaya, according to certain people.

Izaya isn’t offended that Shizuo called his performance modern dance because… well, it was. Izaya doesn’t hate modern dance. That’s the problem. He _loves_ modern dance.

 _“Have you been doing modern dance again?”_ Someone would ask accusingly. Whether it was the nanny, or his teacher, or one of the other ballerinas.

 _“No.”_ He would answer quickly. _“I don’t do modern dance.”_

…

None of Izaya’s experiences with modern dance was Shizuo’s fault, but in the moment he asked it didn’t matter whose fault it was to Izaya.

Soon, the takeout box of ootro is empty and Izaya’s stomach feels grossly full. Yet he’s still upset. This time, the ootro didn’t make him feel better, which is annoying.

He sighs and grabs his phone from the coffee table to turn it back on and as expected it vibrates for at least a full minute with all the times Shinra tried to contact him. And, to Izaya’s surprise, there are two messages from Shizuo as well.

Izaya bites his bottom lip and decides to call Shinra back first. Shinra picks up on the first ring.

 _“Izaya!”_ Shinra cries into the phone. _“It’s been hours! Shizuo’s been worried so Celty’s been worried which means_ I’ve _been worried. Why didn’t you answer??”_

Izaya rolls his eyes. He’s pretty sure saying Shizuo is worried is an exaggeration.

“I’ve been taking some me time.” Izaya answers cooly. “Wasn’t in the mood for you shouting into my ear.”

“What happened at the club?” Shinra, predictably, ignores that last part. Izaya was expecting the question but he feels himself tensing anyway.

“Shizuo has overreacted to plenty of things I’ve said.” Izaya deflects by using Shizuo as a false equivalence. One of Izaya’s more sloppy, juvenile arguments in a while.

“Shizuo overreacts all the time.” Shinra dismisses easily. “It’s not like you to have an outburst like that.”

Izaya sighs in the receiver. He really doesn’t want to explain it all to Shinra.

“Shizuo said he has no idea what set you off. I heard him rambling to Celty like he was really trying to figure it out. He was talking about maybe you feeling pressured by an audience or on something? And maybe something about modern dance?”

For as bad as Izaya feels it’s actually kind of… nice to hear that Shizuo had actually cared about the confrontation. Izaya worries his lip between his teeth. Maybe Shizuo isn’t going to dismiss his outburst so quickly.

“I’m not mad at Shizuo.” Izaya states. His outburst may have been because of something Shizuo said but that’s the truth. “And I’m fine now.”

He can’t see it but he knows that on the other end of the line Shinra nods in understanding.

“You should tell Shizuo that.”

Izaya knows he should. And even though Shinra probably only called Celty was worried…

“Thanks for calling.”

“No problem!” Shinra chirps and hangs up. Shinra always hangs up first but at least he calls.

Izaya pulls the phone away from his ear to switch over Shizuo. His thumb lingers over the call button for a moment before he decides to switch over to the unread texts instead.

The first message was sent two hours ago.

[what the hell happened?]

The second message was sent a half an hour later.

[did i take it too far?]

Izaya frowns at that one. He’s not really sure what Shizuo means. What is Shizuo worried that he took too far?

Izaya is not really sure how to respond to either of Shizuo’s questions. So instead, he just sends what he told Shinra.

[I’m not mad at you and I’m fine now.]

His message goes unread for about ten minutes, not that Izaya is checking, before Shizuo opens it and responds right away. Izaya’s expecting Shizuo to demand answers but when the message comes in it catches him completely off guard.

[are you free tomorrow]

Izaya gasps and almost drops his phone on the couch. Tomorrow? So soon?

Before Izaya can even begin to think of a reply Shizuo sends another message.

[in the morning. Breakfast]

It’s written like a demand but from listening Shizuo try to explain how to do a pole dancing move earlier today Izaya knows it's not. He may not know much about Shizuo, but by now Izaya at least knows that’s just how Shizuo talks sometimes.

So the real question is, does Izaya actually want to? Or does he want this whole experience to just become another memory?

The answer comes surprisingly easy.

[Okay]

Shizuo’s reply is almost immediate.

[meet me at the mcdonalds on 10th at 9.]

A laugh wrenches out of Izaya before he can even process it. McDonald's? Did Shizuo just ask him out on a date to McDonald's??

The more he thinks about it, the funnier it is. He really shouldn’t be surprised, he doubts Shizuo can afford much else. It’s just… no one has ever taken him on a date to a cheap fast food joint. Izaya’s only ever been taken out to nice places before but… this is charming. In a good way.

[I’ll be there.]

* * *

  _“I don’t think it was your fault,”_ Celty signs at Shizuo while they wait for the instant ramen to heat up. _“Obviously, I wasn’t there. But based on how you’re describing it, it sounds to me like you brought up a bad memory of some kind.”_

“Yeah,” Shizuo grunts and crunches down on an ice cube from his glass of water. “You’re probably right. But I still don’t get it. He was laughin’ and so I don’t think it was the situation. But I also don’t know why he’d get so mad at what I said. I mean, maybe I offended him ‘cause he thinks modern dance is ugly?” Shizuo swallows the icy slush in his mouth. “Still don’t seem like a good enough reason to storm out like that.”

The microwave beeps to tell them that their late night or… early morning snack is ready. Shizuo came by right after work but he knew Celty would be up. She’s a total night-owl.

Celty carefully removes the cup ramen and gives it a stir before setting it down to sign back. Shizuo can read some of her one-handed sign but he’s not good enough at it when it comes to more complicated conversations.

_“You’re just going to drive yourself crazy thinking in circles about this. The only way to know the truth is if he talks to you.”_

She picks up the cup again to split it between two bowls. Shizuo would insist on a 50-50 split every time but Celty would always find a way to make his portion a little bigger when he wasn’t looking.

“But what if he doesn’t?”

Celty places his bowl and chopsticks on the counter in front of him.

_“Then you have to just let it go.”_

Shizuo sighs. He knows that. But leaving things unresolved just wouldn’t sit right with him. It’s not like this is an issue of losing a friend because calling Izaya a friend would assuming way too much. As things stand right now Izaya’s more like a party buddy. Still, Shizuo thinks there was potential for more. Of course, he may have been wrong, but this doesn’t seem like a fair chance. Izaya didn’t give up when Shizuo snapped at him for his unaware offense.

 _“Do you like him?”_ Celty signs as she waits for her ramen to cool.

Shizuo does not wait for his to cool and shoves a bunch of noodles into his mouth.

“Dunno,” He grunts around the hot soup. “Haven’ figured that out yet. He’s damn confusin’, which I don’t like, but…” Shizuo takes him actually chewing and swallowing to think through his next thought. “But I have a lotta fun bein’ around him, usually.”

Celty nods and blows on her bowl before taking a bite. She jumps a bit and tips her head back with her mouth open, waving her hands.

Shizuo laughs. “You burn yourself every time!”

Celty manages to swallow her mouthful of hot ramen and takes Shizuo’s ice water to cool her mouth down.

 _“You always eat too early!”_ She accuses.

“Just keep burning yourself until the inside of your mouth is like one big callous like me.” Shizuo teases, taking another easy bite and slurping some of the salty broth just to rub it in.

_“No way!”_

_“Suit yourself.”_ He signs back with a chuckle. Talking to Celty always makes him feel better, even if she doesn’t tell him anything he doesn’t already know. Talking his thoughts out always helps for Shizuo. His phone is still a weight in his front pocket, heavy with the unread messages he sent Izaya. When Izaya had first stormed out Shizuo was worried that Izaya had noticed how into him Shizuo was. Shizuo loved Izaya’s dance. It was so _raw_ and _sexy_ and full of emotion. Izaya had channeled the song perfectly, leaving Shizuo enthralled and breathless. And when Izaya ran Shizuo had worried that Izaya noticed the kind of attention Shizuo was giving him and hated it. Once Shizuo’s head cooled he decided that probably wasn’t the case.

Just as Shizuo drinks the last of the broth and Celty is finally starting on her ramen Shizuo’s phone buzzes. He pulls it out of his pocket to see Izaya’s contact.

“Oh, he finally responded.”

_“What did he say?”_

Shizuo opens the message and reads it out to Celty.

“He says that he’s not mad at me and that he’s fine.”

 _“He used the f-word.”_ Celty signs, pursing her lips.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Shizuo didn’t see the word ‘fuck’ in the message anywhere.

 _“‘Fine.’”_ Celty clarifies. _“‘Fine’ is what you say when you’re not fine after being upset.”_

“Oh,” Shizuo never really thought about it before but he supposes she’s right. Who is really fine after snapping and then going totally dark like that? “Should I say anything about that?”

_“Probably not. It doesn’t sound like you guys are close enough for you to start prying.”_

Shizuo nods and briefly wonders how he should respond but ultimately he decides to act on impulse.

“I’m just gonna ask him out then.” He says as he begins typing.

 _“Wow! Really?”_ Celty signs excitedly. _“Way to be bold!”_

Shizuo presses send with a shrug. “Life’s too short.” He says simply.

_“I hear that."_

* * *

 

As soon as Izaya was old enough to walk his parents enrolled him in as many lessons as possible. He was shipped from violin to gymnastics to painting to pottery to ice skating, filling up all his free time when he wasn’t being tutored. It was the most expensive form of daycare his upper-middle-class parents could have put him in but more than anything they wanted a gifted child. With all of the different things Izaya was exposed to, they thought that surely he had to have a talent for at least one of them. His parents only spoke to Izaya’s instructors and rarely their own child, each time only wanting to hear the teacher say some variation of ‘gifted’ or ‘genius’. Izaya was fairly good in almost every class they put him in but good wasn’t enough for them to keep paying for the lessons and let Izaya stay in a class long enough to make a friend. He doesn’t really remember what lessons he liked best as a kid anymore. He thinks that he liked a lot of things.

But as a child, what Izaya liked most of all was when his parents were proud of what he did. And he knew that every time he made them proud he really, _really_ deserved it.

Izaya doesn’t know how or why his parents decided to keep him in dance classes in the end. He knows he was good at it but he also doesn’t think he was much better at dancing than he was at gymnastics. It must have come down to the teachers and his mother’s vision for her son, not that it really matter why anymore.

Izaya wasn’t unhappy when he was placed in ballet full-time, all his other lessons were dropped completely besides the tutoring. Often times he wished he could go back to some of his other classes, just to take a break from ballet, but he didn’t dislike ballet. When his parents came to his first recital and _applauded_ , little Izaya decided he loved ballet. Even though he was put on a strict diet many years before he would start puberty.

Being a child his focus would waver. Sometimes he’d stop paying attention in class and look out the window at all the people walking past the studio. He liked looking at the people and thinking about who they might be and where they may be going but then his teacher would snap at him to _focus_ and make him do difficult exercises.

By the time Izaya was a preteen he was mostly left to his own devices as long as he kept his grades up, practiced dance every day, and followed his diet. His parents didn’t come to his recitals anymore but they’d always have someone send them the recordings to make sure their son was still a genius. That was when Izaya found the internet. This began his rebellious phase. He quickly figured out that he really liked having the internet because he could learn about whatever _he_ wanted to without needing his parents’ approval. It was then that Izaya found out about modern dance. After seeing just one video, Izaya was in love. He stayed up until three in the morning that very day figuring out different moves from a bunch of different videos in his room with all the lights off so his sister’s nanny wouldn’t interrupt him.

The next day, Izaya called his parents and asked if he could dance with a different studio since the one he was currently with didn’t offer any modern dance classes. He remembers how it felt when he asked them. Izaya was so anxious as the dial tone rang for so long that he thought his call was going to go to voicemail yet again and when his mom answered the phone he can’t even say that he felt relieved.

Never once in Izaya’s life did his parents listen to what he wanted because he was just a kid and not mature enough to know what was good for him. But he was emboldened by the feeling he got from modern dance and he knew he had to try.

Izaya’s mother shot the idea down on the spot and hung up on him. She didn’t even tell him why.

But for a while, he didn’t stop practicing modern dance in secret and when he was finally proud of himself he showed his dance instructor. She threatened to kick him out of the class if he wasn’t going to take his practice seriously.

This rebellious phase hung on a little longer. He’d do modern dance in secret - whenever the torrent of emotions locked inside him would get to be too much during the fragile years of his puberty he would use modern dance as a way to release them. Whatever he was feeling he could express through modern dance in a more raw form than he ever could with ballet.  

But sometimes, he would get caught.

_“Are you doing modern dance again?!”_

_“No!”_

As he got older he tried to stop doing modern dance. He really did.

* * *

 

When Izaya joins Shizuo’s table he’s dressed much more plainly than he was the last two times Shizuo saw him. More like how he was dressed when Shizuo first met him behind the club. Izaya’s clothes are all black and his entire upper body is obscured by his puffy parka but Shizuo likes it. Izaya looks warm and being warm is a good look for everyone.

Izaya flashes Shizuo a quick smile and sits across from him with nothing but a coffee in hand. Shizuo is in the middle of scarfing down one of the breakfast sandwiches from the dollar menu so he can’t really do anything but look up and nod until he swallows the food out of his cheeks.

“How are you?” Shizuo asks, voice a little rough because he swallowed too early and the food went down as more of a hard lump. He washes it down with a swig of water.

Izaya’s eyes seem to twinkle in amusement at Shizuo’s obvious mistake.

“I’m fine,” Izaya says, taking a sip of his coffee without waiting for it too cool. Seems as though they have that much in common.

“Really?” Shizuo presses gently. He keeps his tone as neutral as possible as he looks down at his sandwich as though he’s trying to decide where to attack it next.

Izaya seems at actually hesitate at that rather than giving an automatic response and swirls his coffee cup.

“I… Yes, I am fine. Just a little tired.” He says decisively. Shizuo nods and accepts that. He doesn’t really want to get into anything too heavy but he decides to ask one more thing. Just to check.

“Do you wanna tell me about what happened yesterday?”

Izaya takes another sip of his coffee and presses his lips together. Shizuo waits patiently.

“Not really. Maybe another time.”

Shizuo chuckles lightly at that. “I like that,” he says, taking another bite of his sandwich. Izaya gives him a questioning look.

“That there will be another time,” Shizuo explains with his mouth full.

Izaya gives him a sly smile. It’s tired, but it has a similar playful twinkle in it that Izaya had yesterday.

“Yes, well, we’ll see how much you impress me today,” Izaya says with an airy tone as he tosses his hair back.

Shizuo smirks. “What? You not dazzled yet?” He jokes, referring to his choice of meeting place. So far he and Izaya have been in a back alley, on Shinra and Celty’s couch, a strip club, and now in McDonald’s. That sounds pretty shitty when it’s laid out like that, but Shizuo thinks it’s pretty fitting. It’s real, at the very least. Shizuo might be a performer but he has no interest in putting on an act for Izaya. Izaya doesn’t seem to mind at all, which is a very good sign.

“Hmmm…” Izaya hums and leans forward in his seat, placing his elbows on the table. “I guess dazzled is a word for it…”

Shizuo laughs and stretches his legs out into Izaya’s side of the table and takes another greedy bite of his sandwich, finishing it off with that one bite and licking the grease off his fingers. Izaya’s nose wrinkles his nose in distaste.

“You _lick_ the grease?”

“Only what’s on my fingers,” Shizuo says around the sandwich. He gets that it might be gross to Izaya but old habits die hard. “I paid for it, ‘m gonna eat it all.” He swallows more slowly this time and washes it down with some more water.

“But licking the paper would be too far?” Izaya asks, still looking dubious.

Shizuo shakes his head. “The paper is better for trash-can fires.”

Izaya blinks, obviously surprised to hear Shizuo’s answer.

“I mean… I guess…” He says hesitantly, looking down at the sandwich wrapper.

“It’s not much, but someone might appreciate it, y’know?”

Izaya looks at him sideways but Shizuo doesn’t bother explaining any further. He just shrugs noncommittally.

“Well…” Izaya sits up straighter when it’s clear Shizuo isn’t going to say any more on the subject. “If you’re really that hungry you should come to my place next time you’re in the mood for a date.”

Shizuo smiles at that and leans forward over the table. It wobbles unevenly as Shizuo places the weight of his elbows on it. “Oh yeah? You have somethin’ better than _this_ in mind?”

Izaya hums and tilts his head as if he’s trying to decide which is really better. Whatever his idea is or breakfast at a fast food place.

“That’s a tough call…” He says teasingly. “What do you think about hotpot?”

Shizuo grins. “I think I might not have a spotlight big enough for you after all.”

Izaya seems taken aback and Shizuo catches sight of a blush before Izaya blocks it by taking another a big swig of his coffee. Shizuo’s grin widens, emboldened by Izaya’s reaction.

* * *

_The underground isn’t too loud at this hour, even in a city like this. Not that he knows much about the place - he didn’t pick it for any reason other than this is as far as he can afford to go from his last city. Shizuo shuffles off the train with his head ducked down and his shoulders drawn up as a barrier between himself and the world._

_Looking directly at anyone would mean that he’s not minding his own business. Shizuo does not look at the man smoking pot on the train and he does not look at the group of teenagers freestyle rapping by a trash can outside the station._

_Shizuo tries to pull the collar of his outermost jacket up just a little higher against the wind whipping between the buildings. He doesn’t have anywhere he can go to hide from the cold for the night yet. So, he better start looking._

_He’s ran from city to city since he dropped out and left home. He hardly knows where he is right now, but he’s hoping this will be the place. Maybe this time he’ll finally be able to find a job he can hold down and a place to squat that isn’t too chaotic. Maybe even an apartment he can afford… but that might be too much to hope for._

_He walks for a long time, wandering in and out of alleys and down streets until he’s completely lost the station but found a suitable hole in the wall to spend the night. He sits on the cold concrete with his head between his knees, exhausted and a little light headed from the trip as his stomach incessantly aches from hunger. But more than anything, Shizuo wants to sleep. He promises his stomach that he’ll find a way to get food in a few hours. He wonders if the people in this city tip street performers well, what kind of odd jobs he might be able to do in exchange for a hot meal or some cash. He wonders if maybe he won’t be able to find anything and will have to blow strangers and fuck jaded women to be able to eat like he had to… what was it? Two? Three cities back?_

_Yeah, Shizuo didn’t stay in that place long._

_Shaking his head to get rid of the negative thoughts just makes him dizzy so he tips his head back to fill his lungs with the bitter air of the alley. He can’t start thinking like that now. This is a new city. Another fresh start. He’ll keep trying and take as many fresh starts as he needs to make his life better._

_Besides, this city is already good. It’s Shizuo’s first night here and he’s already found a way to stay out of the worst of the wind and picked up a couple of stray newspapers for the insulation. Tonight, he’ll be okay._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	7. Chapter 7

 

It feels as though the air is carrying him through the last of his routine for the evening. His body remembers each step and the energy flows out his fingertips and toes so freely he doesn’t feel like he’s been working for the past eight hours. With how good he’s feeling he’d normally spend at least another two hours in the studio - but not tonight. Tonight, Izaya has a hot date.

In the solitude of the empty studio, Izaya has no need to try and pretend he’s not excited. He practically flies out of his last spin and into his coat. He almost forgets to change out of his point shoes in his rush for the door. It’s been two weeks since he’s seen Shizuo because Izaya couldn’t put off rehearsal anymore. Izaya’s show is next week and he needs to be certain he’s ready. Taking a couple days off must have done Izaya more good than he thought it would because his routine is better than ever. Not that Izaya will ever admit to Shinra’s face that he was right about Izaya needing a break.

He’s been texting Shizuo a little during their time apart but not much. Izaya doesn’t want to appear too eager and Shizuo doesn’t ever text him unless Izaya texts first, unfortunately. But this morning Shizuo did text first. Izaya remembers the message exactly, right down to Shizuo’s lack of grammar.

[not working tonight are you free]

It wasn’t exactly the message of Izaya’s fantasies but it’s also not too far off. Quite a few of the fantasies that Izaya has about them hooking-up start with a text. To Izaya's disappointment, this text did not come with an attached image of Shizuo’s dick but, oh well, it's a good enough start. Of course, Izaya waited a full fifteen minutes before he responded.

[A little late notice but I think I can pencil you in.]

Despite his aloof act he ended up inviting Shizuo to his apartment, completely casually, of course. He also had everything they would need for a small hot-pot delivered. But, y’know. Casually.

They agreed to meet outside of Izaya’s studio since he lives so close to it. When Izaya steps out into the cold, grey evening and sees Shizuo waiting out on the street corner the man doesn’t look nearly as uncomfortable as Izaya expected he would be in this part of town. Perhaps Shizuo has some hidden experience in high-end places after all?

Shizuo turns his head at the sound of Izaya exiting the building with a cigarette hanging off his lips. He puffs out a bit of smoke and nods in acknowledgment as Izaya approaches him. The giddy excitement in Izaya’s chest winds tighter with every step he takes closer to Shizuo.

“Nice place,” Shizuo comments but he’s not looking at the building. _He… he probably had plenty of time to appreciate the architecture._

Izaya hums and unconsciously fiddles with the fur on the inside of one of the cuffs on his jacket. “Do you want to look around inside?”

“Hm…” Shizuo considers it, looking at the grey sky while Izaya appreciates the bludge of his Adam's apple. “Yeah, alright.”

Izaya steps aside and opens the door with a flourish for Shizuo.

Inside the studio, Shizuo looks around with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He takes in the large, empty space with slow steps. First, he looks at the floor-to-ceiling windows. The studio isn’t at the top of the building but Izaya still loves the big windows and he’s sure Shizuo will be impressed.

Then Shizuo meanders closer to the mirrors that line the wall adjacent to the windows. They’re spotless and make the space appear even bigger than it actually is. Izaya follows a few paces behind Shizuo, paying more attention to the soft footsteps than the studio he knows far too well already.

Shizuo stops in the center of the room and is considering himself in the mirror. It doesn’t appear to be out of vanity as Izaya eyes Shizuo’s body language and his thoughtful expression.

“It’s nice,” Shizuo says, still looking into the mirror. “Do you like it here?”

Izaya almost says ‘of course’ automatically but he presses his lips together tightly before the words come out. There’s something in Shizuo’s face that he just can’t figure out. Something that demands more thought to it than that.

He walks forward until he’s standing right next to Shizuo and looks at himself in the mirror too.

_Do you like it here?_

The exhaustion that clings just beneath Izaya’s skin, even on days when he really does feel happy, suggest that it’s not as simple as ‘of course I like it.’

“... It’s a beautiful studio.” Izaya decides to say finally. The shape of sincerity his lips looks foreign in this mirror. “The best I’ve ever been in.”

Shizuo nods. “It is,” he agrees easily. “... maybe that’s why I can’t see myself in it.”

He glances up at Shizuo’s reflection again but he can’t see any of the sadness that he feared would be there. Izaya thinks that he looks melancholy or maybe… he’s struggling for something. Izaya looks back at his own face and takes a cold breath when he sees the same thing.

The clean lines of the room, everything pristine from floor to ceiling, the wood floors pressed and stained and polished until their gnarly, yet strong origins were erased, the only thing organic in the room being the desperate scuffs on the floor from ballerinas struggling for perfection. Scuffs that will too be erased soon.

Izaya wonders if maybe, just maybe, he’s borrowed Shizuo’s eyes for a moment.

“But I bet you look beautiful dancing in here,” Shizuo whispers.

That strikes something in Izaya. It feels firey like what spurred him into asking his mother about modern dance, but more jaded. Without thinking, he kicks at the floor. His boot lands with a thud that demands Shizuo’s attention. It causes the floor to let out a panicked screech and leaves behinds a thick, black scuff against the pale wood.

“I look beautiful everywhere.” He says haughtily, tossing his bangs. “Both when I’m matching and contrasting with the place.” He looks at Shizuo out of his eye, trying to see if he understands.

Shizuo looks down at the scuff Izaya made on the floor and barks out a laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Izaya steps closer and loops his arm through Shizuo’s. Shizuo probably doesn’t completely understand what Izaya meant, but Izaya doesn’t mind. He thinks that there might just be a hundred or more opportunities just like this for them to try and understand each other.

“Of course I’m right. Now let’s get out of here, the whole point of hot pot is that it doesn’t make itself!”

Shizuo laughs again and lets himself be lead out of the studio by their linked arms. “I thought the point of hot pot was to be social.”

Izaya scoff and waves Shizuo off. “You can have hot pot alone and it’s still hot pot. But if you don’t make it, it’s not hot pot.”

Pressed against Shizuo’s side Izaya doesn’t feel the chill of the evening at all as they step outside.

“Couldn’t you make that argument for like… anything? Like ‘if you don’t make a bike, it’s not a bike’?”

“That’s not the same thing,” Izaya has a little spring in his step and he keeps colliding with Shizuo’s stable pace with how close they are. “You can have someone else make a bike for you and it’s still a bike, but if you don’t make the hot pot yourself it isn’t hot pot. It’s just a meal.”

Shizuo hums and seems to consider this point for a little while. They pass ritzy boutiques and overpriced restaurants but Shizuo doesn’t so much as glance at any of it.

“What if you’re with somebody and they do the cooking and feed it to you? Is that not hot pot?”

Izaya sputters. “Well, I… that’s just completely beside the point.”

He doesn’t have to look to know Shizuo is grinning to himself triumphantly. Leaving Izaya more flustered with hot ears from the idea that was just described than Shizuo’s counterpoint itself.

Streetlight and store windows light the sidewalk as the sun sets completely. It doesn’t take Izaya nearly this long to walk home alone, surely. Not that he minds the time.

Suddenly, Shizuo laughs and stops, bringing Izaya to a halt with him. Izaya looks over at him curiously to see Shizuo pointing into a boutique window.

“I could totally picture you wearing that.” He teases.

Izaya follows his finger to see what Shizuo is talking about. It’s a royal blue skirt that looks like it would land just above the knee.

“Excuse me?” Izaya can’t help the laugh that’s pulled out of him from the absurdity of the notion.

“I saw it out of the corner of my eye and I just got this image of it perfectly.”

Embarrassment floods Izaya’s face. “Why? Because I do ballet?” He demands.

“No, no,” Shizuo denies easily. “Just seemed like it would fit suit you.”

 _“I’m not wearing a skirt.”_ Izaya hisses, giving Shizuo a shove.

The shove makes Shizuo stumble away from Izaya. “I didn’t ask you to” Shizuo laughs, rocking back into Izaya’s side.

Izaya starts to walk away from Shizuo with a huff but his flaming cheeks aren’t warm enough to make up for the loss of Shizuo at his side. Fortunately, it only takes Shizuo two strides to press against him again.

“Not that I wouldn’t like it if you did.”

Izaya’s shoulders hunch on tension and he didn’t even know the back of his neck _could_ blush.

“I didn’t take you for a pervert.” _So much for trying to attract Shizuo with cool seduction tonight. Why am I blushing so much?_

“I’m not,” Just as Shizuo’s about to make some kind of defense he’s cut of by a fat drop of water on the tip of his nose. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for that single drop to turn into a full-on rainstorm.

They’re only two blocks away from Izaya’s apartment so they break apart to rush the rest of the way. They track puddles inside the lobby and their shoes squeak all the way to the elevator. As the elevator rises they both take the time to catch their breath, leaning against opposing walls. Despite their efforts, they’re both completely soaked.

“Nice place,” Shizuo says again. Izaya laughs because Shizuo’s only really had the time to look at the inside of this completely average elevator.

* * *

 

The inside of Izaya’s apartment catches Shizuo by surprise. He knew Izaya would be living better than himself but not _this_ much better. There’s not only a separate space for the bathroom and the kitchen. There’s also a separation between where he has a bed and a couch. Shizuo’s even willing to be he doesn’t sleep on a futon.

They both fumble out of their heavy shoes and coats and Izaya leads the way into the house, visibly shivering from head to toe. Shizuo had thought that it might rain today. It was the way the breeze smelled and the feeling in the air. Perhaps if they didn’t take so long in the studio they could have gotten to Izaya’s apartment just in time, but Shizuo was too curious.

The place where Izaya danced had been nowhere near as spectacular as he and Vorona joked about it being over dinner last night. They turned it into a game, dreaming up more and more ridiculous things about living big.

But the studio was definitely more beautiful than Shizuo had thought it might _actually_ be. Not fancy, if you don’t count the view, but it was just so… pristine. Too pristine. Shizuo had felt like he was staining the place with his presence alone.

Then Izaya put a real stain on the floor and reminded him that contrast could be beautiful too. That made him feel better.

“I’m going t-to change clothes. I don’t think I have anything in your size but feel free to try.”

“Thanks.” Shizuo grunts and follows Izaya towards what must be the bedroom.

He’s inside now, not stuck on the street, but Shizuo still associates wet and cold with a death sentence. So, he’d prefer to get out of these clothes.

The first thing that strikes him about the bedroom, besides how dark it is, is that he was right about the bed.

Before he has time to look around Izaya is turning sharply to open the second drawer of a dresser that comes all the way up to his narrow shoulders.

“Maybe some of my workout clothes could stretch to fit you,” he says before bending down to pull something out of a lower drawer before scurrying off towards what appears to be _another_ bathroom attached to the bedroom. “Just take your pick.”

Shizuo turns back to the dresser to take a look at what Izaya has. He has every intention of searching for something simple that just maybe has a chance of fitting him. But then something more interesting catches his eye.

He dresses quickly and leaves the bedroom to sit on the couch and wait while he tries to force the grin off his face. He’s never worn this sort of thing before but there’s no time like the present.

He doesn’t have to wait long for the sound of Izaya coming out of the bathroom. He manages to flatten his expression as Izaya’s footsteps draw closer and round the couch.

“Let’s get started on the hot pot. I-.”

Izaya pauses as his eyes land on Shizuo, who keeps his expression very neutral.

Then, Izaya bursts out laughing.

“What?” Shizuo asks very seriously and frowns as if he doesn’t see what’s funny. But he can’t help the way the corner of his mouth twitches.

“Wh-what are you- ha- what are you wearing?” Izaya manages to choke out between laughs.

“Clothes?” Shizuo says, keeping up with his confused and slightly offended act. He stands up so Izaya can see it all more clearly. “I don’t see what’s so funny. I think it looks good.”

Izaya laughs even harder and puts his hand over his mouth as if he’s trying to contain himself. “No, no it ah- it looks great on you.” He giggles with his eyes locked on Shizuo’s midriff. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Izaya’s lipstick red crop top is stretched across Shizuo’s chest, landing much higher up on his long torso than on Izaya’s. Shizuo looks down and finally barks out a laugh.

“I’ve never worn one of these before but it’s pretty comfortable.” He has the shirt paired with some far less exciting black joggers that only go down to his calves. Despite the pants being much tighter than he’d normally wear they are comfortable as well.

They set up the hot pot on Izaya’s coffee table and Shizuo tells stories from his work over the week.

“-and this girl was so drunk she actually started taking off her shirt in the audience. Luckily her friends were there and I mean they were obviously drunk too but they kept her under control for the most part.”

“Are there rules against the audience taking their clothes off?” Izaya laughs while they wait for the broth to start boiling. “Seems a bit unfair if only you get to do it.”

Shizuo chuckles a bit at that. This is hardly a unique story but when it’s so novel to Izaya it’s more fun to tell. “I mean, you can up to a certain point. We’re not a full nudity club. But as long as she drew the line at topless it would be fine with the club. Still wouldn’t advise it though.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Izaya says with a smile, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it.

“You don’t get to judge,” Shizuo scoffs, elbowing Izaya in the side gently. “I haven’t even known you that long and I’ve seen you messy drunk. I’m sure you’ve done embarrassing stuff like that too.”

Izaya flushes a red even prettier than the crop top as he sputters from Shizuo’s teasing.

“Well- I-!... I haven’t ever… taken my clothes off in _public._ ” Izaya voice tilts up the slightest bit on the end with an uncertainty that makes Shizuo raise his eyebrow.

To Shizuo’s knowledge, Izaya hasn’t done anything like that. But just because Shizuo didn’t see it doesn’t mean it hasn’t ever happened.

“Right, of course. You just get really clingy.”

Shizuo lets himself be shoved off balance by a cherry-red ballerina who can’t refute that. Especially when he apparently doesn’t remember some of his drunken nights. Shizuo may have regretted it when Izaya got in that taxi alone that night at Celty’s but he certainly doesn’t regret it now. He would hate it if he fucked someone so gorgeous and they totally forgot about him.

“I can’t believe I invited you over just to get bullied.” Izaya pouts.

“That’s not all you invited me over for. You’re also feeding me.”

Izaya puffs his cheeks out and adds some cabbage to the now boiling broth. “I think I actually hate you after all.”

Shizuo laughs and plucks the cabbage from Izaya’s chopsticks and swirls it around in the pot before Izaya can take it.

“Hey-!”

He cuts off Izaya’s protest by grabbing his pink, puffy cheeks. “I’m not taking it, I’m just going to feed you. Then you can tell me for sure whether or not it’s hot pot.”

The color which was fading from Izaya’s face come back with a vengeance and Shizuo just can’t stop smiling. “Open up, primadonna.”

:::

Izaya’s long since stopped eating while Shizuo is still shoveling food in his mouth, already on his second bowl of rice too.

“It’s better the longer you eat it!”

“It is,” Izaya agrees from his slump on Shizuo’s shoulder. “But not all of us are bottomless pits.” He groans.

“You’re just too tiny,” Shizuo says with his mouth full of the last of the beef.

“I better be,” Izaya chuckles. “My show is next week. But I feel like I just gained five pounds and it’s all your fault for stuffing my face.”

“You did not,” Shizuo scoffs. “And you’re not even close to getting fat. You-”

*knock knock knock*

Three slow, polite knocks interrupt Shizuo’s next compliment and they both turn towards the noise.

With a petulant groan, Izaya rolls off of Shizuo’s shoulder and onto his feet to answer the door. Shizuo turns back to the soup to spoon the flavorful broth over the remainder of his rice. _Whatever it is, it’s not my business._

But Shizuo can hear Izaya speak in a hushed tone behind him. He can’t hear what is said, but he can hear _how_ it is said, and that is enough to have Shizuo on edge. Izaya’s low hissing in met with a deep, measured voice. A man who doesn’t bother to lower his voice as Izaya does but speaks with a casual softness.

Despite it not being his business, Shizuo manages to catch a few of the man’s words

“... now let me in.”

“No,” comes Izaya’s desperate whisper. “Now go _home.”_

The strained plea has Shizuo setting his bowl down and getting up. Shizuo has heard that plea before, from one of his fellow dancers spoken to an entitled audience member who got too close. Vorona took care of it then, but Vorona’s not here.

All of Izaya’s weight is braced against the front door as he continues to hiss at the man on the other side through the wavering crack in it, like the man on the other side is trying to force his way in. Shizuo approaches Izaya from behind quietly. First, he places a steady hand on Izaya’s back between his shoulders to leg Izaya know that he is there. Then, he places the same hand on the door above Izaya’s and peers over Izaya’s head to take a look at the man that’s bothering Swan Lake so much.

“Shizu-!” Izaya gasps and turns towards him, accidentally allowing the man on the other side to push the door a few centimeters before he’s stopped by the force of Shizuo’s arm.

Shizuo tilts his head as he considers the man who was just trying to force his way into Izaya’s house. The man’s most striking feature is his pristine, white suit. Closely followed by his pinched face that could rival Shizuo’s own in terms of being uninviting.

“Is there a problem here?” Shizuo asks calmly, staring down at the older man. The man has stopped pushing on the door but Shizuo remains firm like a statue.

The man sizes Shizuo up in kind as Izaya whips around to face him again.

“No,” The man says, equally calm and using the same measured tone that he used with Izaya. Shizuo clenches his jaw as that voice starts to grate on Shizuo’s ears as condescending. “I’m simply here to talk to Izaya in private.”

Shizuo takes note of the first-name basis. He continues to stare at the man as he feels for Izaya’s response beneath him. Even if he didn’t just witness Izaya trying to make the man leave Shizuo is quite sure he would know Izaya doesn’t want to talk to this man at all, let alone in private. It’s clear in the subtle change of Izaya’s breathing, the tension that seems to radiate off of him and vibrate into Shizuo, and the way the subtle contact of the back of Izaya’s head to Shizuo’s chest as he tries to physically distance himself from the man.

“Hm,” Shizuo grunts as he leans forward towards the man, bracing his other hand against the doorframe. “I see. Well, the thing is, I’m not so sure Izaya wants to talk to you.”

“My decision was final, Shiki.” Izaya’s says more strongly than Shizuo was expecting. “There is nothing for us to discuss.”

“I want to be certain you have considered all the factors.” The man has stopped his stare-down with Shizuo to talk to Izaya again. “Your decision was too impulsive.”

The back of Izaya’s shoulders touch Shizuo’s chest in response to those words before they bunch together. Shizuo doesn’t need any more than that to make his choice.

“Maybe you didn’t get Izaya’s all polite and educated talk, but even I know he told you to fuck off.” Shizuo snaps and slams the door before the man can respond with something else that sets them on edge.

Before he can ask Izaya if he overstepped his bounds by getting involved Izaya is reaching out to fumble the lock closed.

“Sorry,” Izaya whispers as he steps under Shizuo’s still locked arm to walk back into the apartment. “He’s never… I really wasn’t expecting that. I’m sorry you were here for it.”

“I’m not,” He follows Izaya back over to the couch. It’s possible Izaya could have very well handled that on his own but Shizuo didn’t want to wait around to find out. “I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with that alone.”

Izaya sits on the couch quietly, curling his knees into his chest, and Shizuo sits next to him with his shoulders tilted towards Izaya. “I’m sorry if I overstepped there. I know this is your house and I don’t really have the right to-”

“No, you didn’t. That was… thanks.

“Anytime.”

Shizuo is burning with curiosity over who that was. Ex-lover seems the most obvious but it could always be a crazed fan. Shizuo doesn’t actually know how famous Izaya might be, after all. Either way, he shouldn’t pry. Even if he’s dying to know.

“You want to know who that was, I’m sure.”

Shizuo shifts uncomfortably as Izaya reads his mind. But there’s no point in denying it so he nods.

“Ex-boyfriend,” Izaya sighs. “So cliche, right?”

“... yeah, I guess that was pretty cliche of him.” Shizuo grumbles, crossing his arms.

Izaya’s laugh has a bit of a bitter edge to it but it’s not so bad.

“Yeah, it was. What a mood-killer.”

“Well, what do you normally do when you’re in a bad mood?”

“... I don’t want to tell you, it’s embarrassing.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	8. Chapter 8

 

“‘You can’t touch that,’ that’s what they all say!” Izaya sings at the top of his lungs as he bounces and sways to the music. He keeps bumping into Shizuo while he throws his arms in the air enthusiastically, nearly knocking the box of convenience store sugar cookies Shizuo is eating all over the floor. 

“‘Today all the dreams in the toybox just keep flowing out slowly. Let’s go! Chase it, fall down~’”

Izaya can almost carry a tune. It seems there is no limit to the young man’s talent. Shizuo just hopes Izaya won’t knock over the precarious blanket fort they’re sitting under. Shizuo had never built a blanket fort before tonight but it didn’t seem too hard to him. He was so wrong. It was a feat of engineering just to get the blanket fort to stand.

As it turned out, Izaya’s method of relieving stress was to watch this anime about a kindergarten class. It’s childish in a way Shizuo didn’t expect but found that he more than welcomed. 

The blanket fort was Shizuo’s suggestion. He’d always wanted to make one and this seemed like the perfect time. With how excited Izaya was when he suggested it he’s pretty sure this is Izaya’s first blanket fort too. 

Izaya laughs out loud at all of the childish antics on the show and Shizuo doesn’t really get it but it’s cute and he pays attention like a good audience member. 

“I never got to do this as a kid,” Shizuo admits in the lull between episodes. “Any of it. Build a fort or watch cartoons or a lot of eat sweets.” He leans down and kisses Izaya’s temple on impulse. “It’s nice. So thank you.”

_ Blue light flickers across the cold, dark floor as a too-loud laugh track plays in the background. He’s at a wobbly kitchen table, the constant movement making it even harder to see the paper in front of him in the dim light. He’s trying to help his little brother out with his homework but he can’t remember how to do it. It’s like he never learned any of it. He told his brother he’s already finished his own homework so helping wouldn’t be a burden but that was a lie. He couldn’t do his own homework either. He’s desperate for help but his dad is watching TV and his mom is in the bathroom with her medicine again and he’s not allowed to bother either of them. But he doesn’t understand this. He doesn’t understand anything... _

“Me neither…” 

Izaya’s soft voice cuts through his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“I never did anything like this as a kid either,” Izaya explains more clearly, looking down at his sleeve while he tugs on it. “That’s why I like doing it now.”

Shizuo lets himself take one slow, bittersweet breath, then he lets it go. They shouldn’t dwell on the past when they have everything they need to be happy right now. 

“What else did you always want to do?”

* * *

 

The people living below Izaya are going to  _ hate  _ them with how much noise they’re making on Izaya’s bed. But he’s finally getting to do what he’s wanted for so long and he is not going to hold back. 

Shizuo put on some outrageously loud rock music that Izaya doesn’t know which meshes horribly with Izaya’s wild laughter. He’s always wanted to jump on the bed!

Shizuo can’t really jump on the bed with him, unfortunately. He’s definitely too tall and the both of them jumping around would probably a little too much for Izaya’s poor bed frame. 

_ “Stop that. You’re making too much noise and your father and I are trying to work.” _

_ “Yes, mother…” _

Izaya shakes off the memory and he yells happily at his date instead. “Come on, Shizuo! It’s almost like you’re trying to be  _ polite!” _

Shizuo chuckles and shakes his head as he turns the music up. “Fine, it’s your apartment!” He shouts over the noise. 

That’s right. It is Izaya’s apartment. 

“My house, my rules!” He sings. 

_ “Go play by yourself. Your mother and I don’t have the time.” _

The memories continue to flood back but Izaya forces it away, telling himself that he’s over it. “Shizu-chan! Let’s play a game, Shizu-chan!”

“ _ ‘Shizu-chan’?! _ ” Shizuo barks out a surprised laugh. “What the hell?!”

“Shizu-chan~!” Izaya sings again, doing a little spin on his next bounce. “It’s cute!”

“It’s horrible.” Shizuo’s face is twisted up weirdly. Like he’s trying to look scandalized but is barely holding in his own laughter. “Don’t call me that.”

“Shizu-chan! Shizu-channn!”

“That’s it.” Shizuo gets up from his seat by the window and approaches the bed like a predator stalking its prey. “You’re gonna get it, brat.”

Izaya squeals as Shizuo gets up the bed with him and wraps his arms around Izaya's waist before he can escape. The predator snatches Izaya off his feet and easily has him on his back in moments.

Shizuo’s fingers dig into his sides and Izaya almost screams when they start wigging. He tries to squirm away, laughing even harder as Shizuo tickles him but Izaya’s trapped. Shizuo is able to pin him easily and shows no mercy in the face of Izaya’s struggle. His fingers just flutter up over Izaya’s ribs. 

When Izaya’s gasping for air, Shizuo finally relents. 

“I hate you,” Izaya whines. “Did Shinra tell you I’m ticklish?”

Shizuo chuckles and shakes his head. 

“No, you just seemed like you would be.” 

He gets off of Izaya who lays limp with his arms above his head while he catches his breath to turn off the music. Then he joins Izaya on the bed again, leaning over him to smooth his hair back down. Izaya is thankful he was already flushed with the exertion of being tortured a second ago. 

“You’re a beast after all. Absolutely brutal.”

“Oh really…” Shizuo hums, laying on his side next to Izaya whose fading blush returns with vengeance. “Well, this date has made me think of a new stripper name for you.”

Izaya rolls onto his side as well to give Shizuo his attention. Shizuo is using own his bicep as a pillow and Izaya eyes it with a bit of jealousy. Shizuo's shaggy blond hair is even messier than usual, coming out of the tie at the base of his skull and sticking up at odd angles. But Izaya doesn’t reach out to fix it. He likes it.  

“Sugar Baby.”

“Oh no…” Izaya chuckles. “Do I really give off that impression?”

Shizuo shrugs and makes a wiggly hand motion, suggesting it could go either way. 

Izaya nuzzles into his pillow and reaches out with his perpetually cold feet to tuck them under Shizuo’s warm body. Shizuo doesn’t try to push them away this time. 

“I didn’t date him for his money if that’s what you’re thinking…”

Shizuo doesn’t say anything. He just keeps looking at Izaya, waiting for him to continue. But his neutral expression makes Izaya feel like he doesn’t believe him or… maybe Izaya feels like that’s not entirely true now that he’s said it. 

“Well… Okay, maybe I did date him for that reason. But it wasn’t because I needed or wanted his money for myself. It was more like… a social class thing.” The truth feels gross sliding off Izaya’s tongue and it lands between them like black ooze tainting their date once again. But Shizuo isn’t looking at the black ooze, he’s still looking at Izaya. “I suppose I just felt like that was the sort of guy I was supposed to be with.” The kind of person his parents would have wanted him to be with if they were still a part of Izaya’s life.

“How long were you together?”

A bitter laugh is wrenched out of Izaya. 

“Two years.”

Shizuo just nods and continues to wait. 

“... I broke up with him because I was tired. It was fun, at first. But all the things I used to like about him just became exhausting and every day was a passive-aggressive battle of us trying to verbally one-up each other.”

Shizuo’s lips part like he’s going to say something, but it takes a long moment for any words to come out. 

“He seemed pretty… assertive.”

This time Izaya does laugh, although he’s not sure what’s funny about it. 

“He wasn’t abusive if that’s what you mean. He put me down, sometimes.” And it was getting increasingly frequent. The things Shiki liked about Izaya in the beginning probably became exhausting for him too. “But believe me, I always gave as good as I got. It never made me feel better though, so I figured it was time for us to stop bullying each other and just end it.”

Izaya sighs.

“You must think I’d be a terrible person to be in a relationship with…” and it’s true. While Shiki wasn’t good for him he doesn’t doubt that he was bad for Shiki. They both knew each other's insecurities and they both went too far too often. 

Shizuo is still quiet and Izaya knows that he’s thinking before he answers. He’s about to be honest, and that’s terrifying to Izaya. 

Finally, Shizuo takes in a breath and starts to speak. 

“I think that… I wouldn’t have liked the person you were with that guy. But it wouldn’t be fair of me to judge you only based on that. No one is good all the time. It’d be like you judging me just based on how I am on stage, right?”

Izaya is stunned for a moment. It’s unclear if it’s because he’s seeing the true meaning in Shizuo’s words or because they led Izaya to his own revelation. He hasn’t considered that his relationship with Shiki could be a type of performance but it was an act, of sorts. A role that he got tired of playing. There was no love involved.

“... Perhaps you’re right… but y’know… it’s really unfair.” Izaya shifts a bit closer to Shizuo, poising himself to shift the topic of conversation.

“Hm?”

“We’re only talking about me again. I want to hear about you.” Shizuo appears reluctant but he doesn’t outright refuse, so Izaya settles in for the story.

* * *

 

_ Shizuo prided himself on graduating high school because he almost didn’t, just like his mother. He stuck it through until the end. And then he left. Just like he promised himself. His brother didn’t need him anymore, having gotten picked up by some talent agency, so there wasn’t a reason to stay. He had finally reached the magical age where even if his parents wanted to keep him at home, they couldn’t. So one day, he packed some things in a bag, and left without saying anything. No one tried to stop him.  _

_ That’s when Shizuo started city hopping. Finding jobs wasn’t so hard - at first - since he was just out of high school. But they never lasted long enough for him to settle down. They were always either temporary positions or if his employer needed to lay someone off Shizuo was the first to go. Better to lay off the guy who’s probably still living with his parents than the single mother with two kids, right? _

_ Then work became harder to find. The economy was bad and the money Shizuo had saved up to leave was drying up. He didn’t have a phone, a place of residence, and didn’t get a chance to shower as much as he should have. Between that and the exhaustion of being hungry all the time, it was even harder to get hired. _

_ When Shizuo couldn’t work a real job he’d do street performing. And during even worse times - he did whatever the streets paid him to do. It didn’t stop with just street performing. A lot of it had to do with selling himself in the alleyway, whoever can hand him some cash so he can eat that day.. _

_ Then things went bad again. Really, really bad. With numb fingers and a dry throat, Shizuo kept warm by dancing here, in this city. Sparse snowflakes clung to the flattened cardboard for seconds before being melted by Shizuo’s hot skin. It was the last night he was going to give this place before he bailed again. If he didn’t make enough that night, it was onto the next one. And by the sad silence of his cup, that was looking to be the case. Until during a break he heard…  _

_ “Hey, you’re pretty good!” _

_ Shizuo thought he knew those words too well. Some con-artist posed as a talent scout. Another one of those ‘I can get you into all the big music videos, just give me your money and you’ll be a star!’ Shizuo clenched his teeth on his already rising temper to grit out.  _

_ “Thanks. If you really think so, the cup’s at your feet.” _

_ Just like Shizuo was. With everyone, all the time.  _

_ “Ah,” the cup clinked with some change and Shizuo finally looked up at the man. The first thing that Shizuo noticed was his small stature, dark skin, and a smile much less slimy than Shizuo was expecting.  _

_ “Sorry to bug you on your break,” the man said, placing his hands back in his pockets. “My name’s Tom.” _

_ Shizuo stayed quiet and just looked up at Tom, waiting for him to get to the point. No one talked to Shizuo unless they wanted something from him. Shizuo has started to think that maybe the man wasn’t a con artist. Maybe he wanted Shizuo for sex or to join a cult or something.  _

_ “I’ll just get to the point. There’s a strip club downtown holding auditions. I think you’d be good. Not only can you dance, you’ve got a ‘look’ that I think we could work with.” Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out a matte black business card. “So if you’re looking for work, you should stop by. I can’t promise the money will be great, but I can promise you’ll always get money. Interested?”  _

_ Shizuo didn’t have any facade to keep up when he nodded. He was more than interested - he was desperate. He could tell that Tom wasn’t lying and hell, who would tell a lie like this? _

_ “Great!” Tom signed the back of the business card before handing it to Shizuo. The logo on the front was a simple white circle with the English word ‘Dollars’ printed in the center. That, aside from Tom’s signature, was the only thing on the card.  _

_ “What’s your name?” Tom finally asked.  _

_ “It’s Shizuo.” Shizuo didn’t have any other name to give him.  _

_ “Good to meet you, Shizuo.” Tom held out his hand for a handshake, which Shizuo accepted. “The audition is this Wednesday at noon. Just tell the bouncers you’re here to audition and show them the card I gave you and you shouldn’t have any trouble.” _

“And I made the cut. Not that I had much competition, to be fair. Then Tom had me dye my hair for my ‘look’ or whatever and - here I am.” Shizuo finishes. “So, it might not be the best place and maybe I could find something better, but it's my place. I have friends and food and a home. I’m really thankful to the club and especially Tom. It probably saved my life.”

The bed shifted and the side of Shizuo’s body was enveloped by the warmth of Izaya’s pressing into it. Izaya is quiet for a moment as if taking it all in. 

“Did you really...umm… you know, had to do that on the streets to survive? Where you had to…” There was no real delicate way to ask the question. Shizuo shrugs it off since it doesn’t bother him any longer. 

“Exactly what it sounds like. Some businessmen pay pretty well to have their dick sucked before they have to go home to their wives.” Shizuo shrugs, looking at Izaya’s ceiling. “I used to be ashamed of it but I had to do what I had to do to survive.- I used to be ashamed of stripping too. But now it’s just like… you gotta do whatcha gotta do, y’know?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Good. Try to keep it that way.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t respect you at first.” Izaya says, the softest Shizuo has ever heard him. Shizuo takes in a deep breath that tastes like winter and lets out the warmth of a hearth. 

“It’s not your fault.” Shizuo understands that there’s no way Izaya would have known better. “I’m the one who’s overly-sensitive about it. And I judged you too hard at first too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	9. Chapter 9

 

“Damn heater isn’t working again…” Izaya mumbles to himself, coming home freezing from yet another late rehearsal.  _ Didn’t I just call to have it fixed? Seriously.. _

Izaya doubts that his home could ever really be as warm as it was when Shizuo was here… but a working heater certainly couldn’t hurt!

He stands in the living room in his coat and shoes and punches the numbers for the repair service  _ again _ . Once the service he calls hears that the heater is broken again they apologize and immediately agree to send someone over - free of change since it’s only been a few days since Izaya’s last call. Almost as soon as Izaya hangs up his phone vibrates, a text from Shizuo. Izaya’s mood is immediately lifted even though he’s still shivering in his own home when he opens the text. 

[bachelorette party and colors are pink and gold which body glitter should i use]

Shizuo is still the worst at texting but Izaya can read it. He laughs at Shizuo even thinking to ask for his opinion on the matter, a giddy smile stretched wide across his face. This means that Shizuo is thinking of him at work. 

[Body glitter is so trashy.] Izaya sends back, teasing. Before Shizuo can respond he adds: [Go with gold.] and again, he adds on another message as an idea pops into his head. [Send me a picture just to be sure.]

In a moment three dots appear on the screen indicating that Shizuo is about to respond. Izaya throws himself back into the couch to sit with his knees curled up into his chest and his phone in both his hands, eagerly watching the screen for Shizuo’s response. It’s taking longer than a simple ‘no’ so that must mean Shizuo’s actually sending a picture! After a few more long seconds of anticipation, the screen slides down to make room for the image sent. It’s-!

It’s a picture of two bottles of glitter on what looks like a messy vanity. Probably in the changing room of the Dollars club. 

Izaya pouts to himself, puffing up his cheeks as big as he can make them. As if Shizuo could actually see the look on his face. That’s not what he wanted at all!

[No, I mean send me a picture of the gold ON YOU. How else will I know that I made the best choice?] he hurriedly sends back. It’s not weird or desperate, of course. It’s confident. They’re getting  _ very _ close. 

It takes even longer for Shizuo to respond. Long enough for Izaya’s stomach to flutter with a blend of uncertainty and hopefulness. 

Finally, Izaya’s phone buzzes in his hands again and Izaya taps the image eagerly to have a full-screen view. 

The image quality is poor and there’s the shadow in the middle of his chest where Shizuo was obviously holding the phone out in front of himself for the picture. But that’s fine. What’s most important is that  _ Shizuo actually sent it! _

Izaya giggles and kicks his feet in glee. What isn’t covered in the shadow - Shizuo’s shoulders and his left peck, mostly - is sprinkled with gold glitter that shines under the bright vanity light. 

[I was right, gold looks perfect.] Izaya sends back, flopping over onto his stomach with his feet in the air, swinging happily. 

[thanks] is all Izaya gets as a reply but he doesn’t mind one bit. He just saves the image on his phone. 

Maybe it doesn’t really matter, after all, Shizuo takes his shirt off for people to ogle at all the time. But it feels just a tiny bit special this way since Shizuo wasn’t being paid and it was just for Izaya rather than an audience. 

Plus Shizuo’s still totally hot no matter how many times he takes his shirt off. 

* * *

Later that day, as promised, the repairman shows up for his heater. Izaya doesn’t remember if it’s the same guy or not since that was the evening he came back from Shinra’s completely wasted. But, something about him is familiar.

Izaya decides not to worry about it as he lets the man inside. 

“Ah, s-sorry about… last time. I’ll fix it right this time.” 

…. and Izaya would continue not to worry about it if this man wasn’t being so awkward and obviously staying as far away from Izaya as possible. 

_ …. it’s probably fine.  _

He gives the man plenty of space and pretends to read a book on the couch while watching him.  _ What did the person on the phone say the name of this guy was again? K… K something?  _

Izaya thinks through a few possible K names but none of them are jogging his memory. He continues to stare over the top of his book and the longer he stares the more familiar the guy is. Well, more specifically, his hat. 

“So, uh, how are you doing?” K-something says over his shoulder, finally breaking the tense silence. “You look better this time.”

_ Ah, so he’s definitely the same guy.  _ This makes Izaya sweat nervously.  _ Did I do something last time…? _

“Yes, I’m doing fine. Yourself?” Izaya asks, keeping his tone neutral as his flips the page. 

“Fine, fine,” K-something says. “So… um. I don’t mean to pry or anything, but did stuff work out with that guy?

_ That guy… oh no, did I blabber to the repairman about Shizuo?! _

“Yes…” Izaya begins to answer carefully. But then it hits him hard. The night he came home drunk from Shinra’s after their Alien marathon hits him like a street sign to the face. 

_ Oh my god… I BLEW THE REPAIRMAN!! _

Izaya’s face burns and he hides behind his book as memories rush back. Stumbling into his apartment, sexually frustrated from being rejected by Shizuo even though they were touching and eyeing each other up all evening. The repairman who isn’t Shizuo but is also really hot with his dad-arms and his nice brown eyes. It was definitely Izaya who made the first move and… well, thank goodness it didn’t go farther than a blow job? He doesn’t remember much about what happened after sucking his guy off but he seems nice and he’s not being too presumptuous with Izaya now so K-something is probably the one who stopped it. 

_ Why do I have to be such a trashy drunk?! This is all Shinra’s fault! _

“I- um.” Izaya clears his throat, resolutely not peering over the book anymore. “I’m sorry about last time. It was probably my fault you didn’t get to fix it properly…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing I can’t fix now.” K-something assures him. “I’m glad things are working out for you now though. He- uh. He’s a lucky guy.” 

Izaya bites his lip to hold in a squeak. He’s completely scarlet with mortification. 

“Th-thank you?” Is all he can manage because he has no idea what to say.

“Don’t mention it.” The man says good-naturedly.

“C- can I get you something? Some tea or…?” Izaya says, wanting to run and hide already. 

“Yeah, tea would be great.”

With that, Izaya rushes into the kitchen, kind of wanting to die. At least he and Shizuo weren’t really dating or anything then… but still! It’s so embarrassing and what would Shizuo think if he knew Izaya was that kind of person?

_ … he’d probably accept it since I didn’t actually cheat on him or anything. He’s a stripper with a little bit of a background in prostitution. He’s not going to be judgemental.  _ Izaya takes a deep breath and pours the tea with slightly shaky hands. It’ll be fine. This guy is nice and Shizuo isn’t going to hold him to standards of high-class… probably. 

He brings the tea out to the repairman who thanks him. Soon enough, the heater is fixed for real this time. 

“I’m sorry you had to come out here again,” Izaya apologizes again, leading the man to the door. 

“Nothing to worry about,” K-something assures Izaya yet again. “Just call if something else goes wrong.” He offers Izaya his hand to shake and Izaya takes it. “I’m Kyohei, just ask if you need me to come back.”

“R-right. Kyohei. Thank you very much.”

“Have a good day.”

As soon as the door closes Izaya buries his face in his hands.  _ Who am I kidding?! Shizu-chan’s going to think I’m a mess! _

Before Izaya can let out so much as a whimper if mortification his phone vibrates in his pocket. He sighs and pulls it out of his pocket, answering without even thinking about it since his choreographer has been hounding him all week about his “slacking”. 

“Hello?” He says weakly. 

“Hey, Izaya.” Izaya nearly drops the phone, fumbling in shock from the rumbling male voice on the other end of the line rather than the smooth, cold voice of his female choreographer. 

“Sh-Shizu-chan! Hey! Is… is the bachelorette party over?” Paranoia grips Izaya’s mind. The timing is just too perfect. Does Shizuo know? Does he know  _ Kyohei? _ It was already a surprise when Shizuo knew Shinra and Celty - people Izaya has a connection with.  _ What if Shizuo is Kyohei’s friend too? _

“Uuhh… yeah. Is something wrong?”

Izaya’s being far too obvious but Shizuo called before Izaya had a chance to recover. Or maybe Shizuo knows everything and is testing Izaya?  _ Oh god… it’s so much worse if he heard it from someone else first! _

“I…  _ IjustfoundoutIblewtherepairman! _ ” Izaya confesses quickly. 

“You did what now?” Shizuo’s bewildered voice comes across as far too genuine. Just like the rest of him. 

“... I blew the repairman when I was drunk that one time and I just remembered it.”

“You… sucked some guy’s dick when you were drunk?”

“It was a few weeks ago!” Izaya says quickly. “And I didn’t mean to - I mean - I was so drunk I didn’t even  _ remember  _ until just now and it was before we were- ”

Before Izaya can finish justifying it Shizuo’s laughter eclipses his excuses. 

“You… you…! Hahaha!” There’s the sound of air being sucked in followed by a cough. “Oh man, that’s incredible.”

“sh-Shizuo!”

There’s the sound of fumbling in the background and what Izaya could swear is that Russian girl from the club talking. Shizuo has mentioned they were roommates before. 

“Shizuo, pass-....” The rest of the blonde woman’s words are unintelligible because of her distance from the phone and heavy accent. 

“Yeah, yeah…”

_ What is Shizuo doing? _

“Oh man, Vorona! You have to hear what-!”

_ “Don’t you dare!” _

* * *

 

Shizuo had really called Izaya to ask about his upcoming show. It was kind of an impulse move, calling at such a random time without warning, but in his defense, he and Vorona were kinda high when he remembers he had been meaning to ask Izaya about that. 

Now he’s re-tying his tie on the rental suit for the fifth time because he swears he can make it just a  _ little _ straighter while he waits for Shinra and Celty in their living room. 

He peers at his reflection again in the black TV screen and slicks back his bangs again because Celty says it looks good in him. His hair is freshly dyed so there are no brown roots but the ends are kinda crispy from the box bleaching and bad conditioner. Shizuo decides not to worry about that since there’s nothing for it.

_ Izaya will be happy just to see me. I know he will. He was excited when he told me he reserved me a seat for free on the phone. How I look doesn’t matter.  _

Even if the slacks are too short for Shizuo’s long legs. 

_ It’s the thought that counts.  _

He loosens the tie and tries straightening it again. Just one more time. 

“Wow. I don’t think I saw you try to make something so straight since the beginning of middle school.” Shinra’s voice comes from behind him, peering over his shoulder into the black screen too. 

Shizuo snorts at the bad joke. “Shut up, Shinra. It’s called being bi.” He straightens out his suit jacket with emphasis and Shinra laughs. They both turn around as Celty’s reflection joins them. 

_ “You look great, Shizuo.” _ She signs at him with a smile. 

“Thanks, but I-“

“Celty! What about me?!” Shinra whines, not even bothering to try and hide how much he demands her attention. As usual. 

Celty rolls her eyes.  _ “I already told you, you look fine.” _

“‘Fine’ isn’t the same as ‘great’!”

Shizuo scoffs and twirls his pointer finger by his temple, the universal sign for calling someone crazy, and Celty’s shoulders shake with laughter. 

Shizuo’s never seen a ballet recital before. He thinks he may have seen some of one on TV when he was a child before his father changed the channel, but that doesn’t really count. Everything is so clean and all the people are likely wearing more money than Shizuo’s half of the rent. He can’t help but feel out of place and like he’s dirtying the space with his very presence like the inside of Izaya’s practice studio. But then Shizuo takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he’s not invading. He’s supposed to be here. He’s got a VIP ticket in his pocket and everything.

There are many dancers on stage but even if Shizuo didn’t have a clear view of their faces from the front row Shizuo is confident he could pick Izaya out easily. It’s the way he moves. There’s something so distinctive and enchanting about it that Shizuo couldn’t describe even if he had twice the vocabulary he does now. Which is too bad because calling it  _ beautiful _ doesn’t seem to cut it. 

Izaya’s dancing is more than beautiful it’s as graceful as it is disturbing and it leaves Shizuo aching it see what would happen if Izaya had choreographed his own routines like Shizuo does. If Izaya was able to do whatever he wanted.

As it is, even with a routine that many other dancers are doing, Izaya seems to own it with a unique sort of authentic feeling leaking through. Or maybe that’s just how wrecked Shizuo is for him.

When the show ends Shizuo waits for Izaya outside while Shinra and Celty wait in the car. His eyes are fixed on the door he knows Izaya is going to come out of and he starts compulsively straightening the suit over and over again. He knows he doesn’t need to be so nervous but it’s hard to control that. Izaya is far from perfect just like Shizuo himself, but Izaya is just so perfect on stage it’s easy to forget that.

Shizuo turns his head to glance back in the direction of the parking lot anxiously where Celty and Shinra are waiting. He did want some time alone to congratulate Izaya and have it be all romantic and shit but right now he’s sorely missing the support of his best friend. Not Shirna though, Shinra would be making this so much worse.

But as Shizuo’s turning to look back his eyes catch on a familiar striking white suit. It’s Izaya’s old ex that Shizuo can’t remember the name of. The one who tried to force his way in on their date. And he’s got a huge bouquet of a dozen or more red roses.

Shizuo scowls at the sight of him. There’s no way Izaya invited that bastard and while he might be there for a different ballerina Shizuo wouldn’t bet on that. Shizuo wonders if he should say something. The guy technically hasn’t done anything wrong just by standing there and Shizuo really can’t make him leave but…

Before Shizuo can decide whether or not to do anything about the guy who won’t even glance at him in acknowledgment the door opens. Shizuo’s head whips back around just in time to see Izaya step out.

Izaya’s face lights up as his eyes raised from the ground to land on Shizuo.   


“Izaya, I-”

Anything Shizuo might’ve said, all the praise that he had on the tip of his tongue, is stolen away by Izaya running right at him and jumping into Shizuo’s arms to kiss him.

Shizuo catches Izaya instinctively and kisses him back once his brain catches up to the situation. That ex-boyfriend of Izaya’s is completely forgotten if Izaya had noticed him at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come.


	10. Chapter 10

They cling to each other even as Shizuo jerks his key around in the stubborn lock of his apartment, feeling like he’s breaking and entering into the place he pays for. Perhaps it would be easier if he let go of Izaya to focus his attention on the lock but that seems impossible while Izaya’s still hanging off his lips.

He manages to work the lock open and they stumble inside. Vorona isn’t home today. Well, she _was_ home but Shizuo sent her a quick text on the way over so now she’s with Mikage.

Shizuo had thought to himself some nights that he wouldn’t want to bring Izaya here. That his tiny hole in the wall apartment could never measure up to what Izaya has. But now, with Izaya’s arms around his neck and Izaya’s eyes full of want, Shizuo can’t find shame anywhere inside himself. His place might be small. It might have chipping paint that he contractually can’t fix. There might be the stale smell of cannabis clinging to the air. Vorona’s books might be piled high in one corner and Shizuo’s cacti might be crowding the windowsill.

But the kitchen is clean and Shizuo’s futon is already pulled out and made up neatly and there’s a line of condoms on the pillow. Most likely from his very considerate roommate.

Hot breath spills across his lips, drawing Shizuo’s attention just as the pressed white shirt is pulled out of his pants. Izaya steps forward between Shizuo’s legs to deepen the kiss, sucking on his bottom lip. In answer, Shizuo steps back to guide them to the futon. He lays on his back with Izaya’s full weight on his chest. Their legs tangle together effortlessly with Izaya’s knee between Shizuo’s thighs.

“Did you rent this suit just for me?” Izaya asks between kisses. He playfully flutters his lashes up at Shizuo and traces his pointer finger in circles over Shizuo’s chest.

“Yeah,” Shizuo runs his hand up Izaya’s lower back under his tight black shirt. “I had to compete with that guy somehow.” He jokes.

“Mm, who?...”

Shizuo had meant Izaya’s ex but judging by the look in Izaya’s eyes he probably genuinely didn’t notice the guy in the high-end suit at all which fills Shizuo with pride. Rather than remind Izaya of the only other man who’s been in a relationship with Izaya, Shizuo decides he can have a bit more fun than that.

“You know, Kyohei, the repairman.”

Izaya snaps out of his daze, straightening his arms to push himself up into a full cobra on Shizuo’s chest.

“That’s not funny!” Izaya cries, his face lighting up bright red while Shizuo’s laugh heartily disagrees with him. “W-wait, how do you know his name??”

“Because I know Kyohei,” Shizuo confesses. “Well, not like super well or anything, but the landlord called him to fix something in this apartment a few months ago and we, uh- _got along.”_

“You’re lying.” Izaya accuses too fast to suggest he believes his own words.

“No, I’m not.” Shizuo laughs. “That’s why I don’t blame you for blowing him _at all._ He’s got the warm brown eyes and the-.”

“Dad arms, oh my _god!”_ Izaya cries in unison with Shizuo’s description. “You do know him!”

“Yeah, we still chat sometimes. He told me that some guy other than me had tried hooking up with him while he was on a job, because believe it or not that doesn’t happen often, but I didn’t know it was _you.”_

Izaya deflates, dropping back down onto Shizuo’s chest to hide his face. “Now I get why you thought it was so funny…” He grumbles.

“Oh no, it would’ve been funny even if I hadn’t already fucked the same repairman.”

“I hate you…” Izaya whines but there’s an unmistakable note of laughter hidden between his words. Even Izaya couldn’t possibly be immune to the absurd serendipity. “I hate you and I take back being charmed by you. We had a mood going and you ruined it.”

Wrapping one arm around Izaya’s waist and using his other hand to cradle Izaya’s head, Shizuo flips their positions so Izaya’s on his back to press smiles just under Izaya’s jaw. “Think we can’t bring it back?” He hums between kisses.

 _“Oh,”_ Izaya purrs, dropping his head back and arching into the attention with alluring grace. “I didn’t say that…” He tips his legs apart to pull Shizuo’s hips down between them. “But it’s your job to bring it back.”

Shizuo decides to answer with actions rather than words. He drops his arm from Izaya’s waist to grip his outer thigh as he tucks his nose into Izaya’s bared neck. He still smells of sweat from performing under the bright lights and hairspray from the other ballerinas backstage but that doesn’t deter Shizuo from scraping his teeth over the skin. He likes Izaya like this. Raw and passionate.

Izaya shudders under Shizuo as he rocks his hips forward into Izaya who eagerly responds to the teasing friction by pulling open Shizuo’s pants and shoving a hand inside.

Shizuo groans lowly at the bold touch as Izaya is humming in pleasure at the weight in his palm. Given the size of the rest of Shizuo’s body, Izaya isn’t exactly surprised. It makes the most sense, proportionally speaking, but it’s still nice to _feel_ how right his fantasies were.

Izaya strokes Shizuo over his underwear for a bit appreciatively while he basks in the attention Shizuo is giving to his neck. Shizuo pulls breaks the lavish kisses only long enough to slip Izaya’s shirt off so he can get his hand on the hidden soft skin and lean muscles.

Teasing touches quickly escalate into heavy petting. Soon, they’re fumbling in each other’s way as they start pushing at each other’s pants.

Sharing a laugh, they separate so they can each strip down properly and Shizuo grabs the lube.

“So, uh, do you want to be the one-?”

“Ugh, learn to read a room, Shizu-chan.” Izaya rolls his eyes and starts fluffing up the pillows behind him.

“Hey, I didn’t want to be _that guy_ and just assume you were… y’know, because you’re kinda…”

 _“Yes,”_ Izaya gives a mockingly exasperated sigh. _“Obviously_ I prefer to bottom.” He spreads his legs, lifts one to place a foot on Shizuo’s shoulder, and flashes a suggestive smile.

“I _definitely_ want to bottom.” His eyes purposefully flicker down to Shizuo’s crotch.

Shizuo is anything but innocent when it comes to sex but even so, he blushes at being checked out. Maybe it’s because that was so unexpected or because Izaya’s special to him. Probably a bit of both.

Izaya grabs the line of condoms and smirks when he catches sight of the size that’s printed on the package. Without comment, he rips open a packet and tosses the foil off the side before grabbing Shizuo’s cock and rolling it on.

Since Izaya wants Shizuo to ‘read the room’ so much he figures he can take initiative on the next step. Rather than offering the lube to Izaya first he just pops it open and pours it over his own fingers.

Izaya hums in satisfaction at the promise of a satisfying evening. He raises his arms out to Shizuo, making a ‘come here’ motion.

Shizuo shifts closer, careful not to spill the slick from his fingers until his knees are pressed against the back of Izaya’s thighs.

As soon as Shizuo is close enough Izaya’s hands are sliding up over his chest appreciatively.

Shizuo’s clean hand slides between Izaya’s thighs to spread them a bit more before he takes their cocks together in his slick hand.

Izaya’s eyes widen and his breath hitches, surprised by Shizuo’s unexpected choice.

 _“Shizuo- ”_ Izaya whines, but Shizuo cuts off his complaint about dragging out the foreplay with an open-mouth kiss. He drags his hand up over the both of them slowly so he can focus on the details of how Izaya feels under his fingers.

Shizuo rests his forehead against Izaya’s, enraptured by pinched expression of pleasure on his usually elegant face. He tightens his grip as he draws his hand up over the tips. He focuses on the weight of his touch for the right amount of pressure to make Izaya shudder. In response, Izaya’s eyes flutter open, looking slightly dazed until he focuses on Shizuo’s face.

“I… _ahh_ … I can practically see hearts floating around your head with the way you’re looking at me…” He teases and reaches up to cup Shizuo’s jaw. “It’s so embarrassing… for you, I mean…”

Shizuo’s focused gaze breaks into another smile.

“Yeah, well, I can practically see the hearts in your eyes. It’s so cute…” He twists his fingers over the sensitive head to knock Izaya’s face loose again. Any retort that Izaya could have had gets lost in a low groan and Shizuo can feel Izaya’s cock twitching against his own.

“Just… _ah fuck-_ ” Izaya slings his arms around Shizuo’s neck as he loses his words to another moan. “Just hurry up, Shizu-chan.” He whines.

With only a little reluctance, Shizuo pulls his hand back to pour a bit more lube onto it. Izaya’s right, neither of them are going to be able to last at this rate. Besides, he’ll have many more opportunities to enthrall Izaya with foreplay. He’s sure of it.

Izaya’s arms tighten around him as Shizuo massages his entrance with a fingertip to try and ease him open. Izaya relaxes easily, no doubt with experience, but hums in appreciation for Shizuo’s careful attention and thoughtfulness.

Slowly, he begins to push a finger in, and he only gets about halfway before Izaya opens his mouth again to complain.

“Give me two, come on, I’m not some sixteen-year-old virgin.”

Shizuo snorts but does as told. As long as Izaya’s not in pain it’s fine.

With the addition of a second finger and therefore more of a stretch, Izaya whimpers softly. But the good kind of whimper. Shizuo moves his fingers insides slowly to open Izaya up with care. He spreads his fingers a few time, making Izaya squirm, before adding a third finger.

Izaya fumbles for the lube to gracelessly pour some over his own fingers and reaches for Shizuo’s erection. He wraps his fingers around it tightly and stokes up, matching the agonizing pace Shizuo is using to finger him.

“Hurry up, Shizuo, I’m ready. You want to be inside me, right?” Izaya huffs, already a little out of breath.

“Fuck…” Shizuo curses and pulls his fingers out of Izaya without further prompting.

Izaya shivers when he’s left empty and from the anticipation of Shizuo lining himself up. One more glance at Izaya’s face tells Shizuo everything he needs to know so he starts to push his way inside with one hand to guide his cock and the other to brace Izaya’s hips.

Izaya drops his head forward to rest on Shizuo’s shoulder to watch as his body gives way to Shizuo. Shizuo splits his attention between that sight and the expression on Izaya’s feverish face.

Izaya feels just as good inside as he looks on the outside. He’s strong and flexible both inside and out and Shizuo groans in appreciation for that.

Once Shizuo is fully inside Izaya’s head drops back against the pillows with a moan and Shizuo follows him down as Izaya clenches around him.

 _“Finally…”_ Izaya sighs and lifts his hand to rest it on his lower stomach where Shizuo is buried deep inside.

“I know,” Shizuo chuckles. “This is overdue, honestly.”

Izaya hums in agreement and rubs his stomach idly. “Now hurry up and fuck me, you’ve been keeping me waiting long enough as it is.”

 _“Me?”_ Shizuo laughs.

“Yes, you.” Those muscles clench again and Izaya gives Shizuo a cheeky smile as a moan comes out rather than a laugh.

Shizuo’s not sure why Izaya’s blaming him since he’s clearly wanted Izaya since the movie night and the only things that kept them apart after that were Izaya and Izaya’s ex. But there’s no need to have that discussion now when Izaya’s using his body to coax Shizuo’s hips into moving without Shizuo even realizing.

Shizuo lets out a hot breath on Izaya’s neck and starts to rock his hips purposefully. Izaya rewards Shizuo’s compliance by wrapping his arms and legs around him. They quickly fall in sync, each responding to the motion of the other’s body and breath and feeling with fluid grace.

It’s not clear if Shizuo or Izaya decides that Shizuo needs to sit back a bit so he can get better leverage. Perhaps they had the same thought at the same time, which is what Shizuo likes to believe. Regardless, his lips are clinging to the skin of Izaya’s neck for as long as they can while Izaya is sliding his firm grip down from Shizuo’s shoulders to his upper arms as Shizuo is pushing himself up to get fuller thrusts.

The sounds of the city through the paper-thin apartment walls become too foggy to be recognized from the heat between them. A heat that’s been there since the beginning, if Shizuo is being honest with himself. And there’s no room for dishonesty while he’s locked in Izaya’s tight grasp.

* * *

 

“Come _on,_ Shizu-chan! It’s supposed to be a ball-change into a barrida while I developpe and _then_ you go into the back-bend!” Izaya huffs, stopping right in front of Shizuo to huff down at him.

“I already told ya to stop usin’ words I don’t understand!” Shizuo snaps, looking up to give Izaya an upside-down glare from the back-bend he’s currently waiting in. “Just do the handspring over me already, we’ll fix it later.”

“You’re learning the wrong thing,” Izaya tuts, shifting his weight to one hip.

Shizuo scowls and kicks up into a handstand. In response, Izaya steps to the side so Shizuo can pinwheel his legs and right himself. Which is supposed to be the next move in the routine.

“That’s just the flowery set-up shit no one is gonna remember anyway. I still think you should cartwheel into the handspring over my bridge - that would be way more exciting.”

Izaya wrinkles his nose and scoffs. _“This_ again? And I’m telling you that’s totally the wrong mood. Besides, I’m doing a butterfly kick _after_ the handspring and collapsing to the ground into the spiral roll. That’s plenty exciting _and_ appropriate for that part of the song.”

Before Shizuo can respond they’re interrupted by Kida throwing open the basement gym door with an overly dramatic sigh. “Are you guys _still_ arguing over the first thirty-seconds of the routine?” He drops the takeout order along with his bag on the rickety table in the corner of the room.

Mikado trails behind Kida and his large bags of equipment are anything but the subtly that Mikado usually tries to be. He gives a guilty smile and whether it’s for his own intrusion or Kida’s is never clear. “Seriously, just spare us all the drama and start sending out wedding invites already.”

Shizuo turns his scowl to Kida and Izaya offers a fake laugh.

“Ha Ha. Your humor is brilliant as always.”

Shizuo and Izaya are not engaged. That’s it. That’s the whole joke.

Kida flips his hair and offers a dazzling smile. “I try.” Then he pulls one of the many bags off the awkwardly shuffling Mikado, tipping the young man off balance for a moment.

“Just decide which parts are going in the hype video while we set up, alright?”

Shortly after Shizuo and Izaya’s officially declared relationship began they started dancing together. Neither of them had a venue to take it anywhere but it only made sense for them to share in their passion together. Then a suggestion came from an unlikely source.

 _“W-well you could make a YouTube channel…”_ Mikado, Kida’s shy friend and the manager of social media for the Dollars club had said one day when Shizuo and Izaya were on the pole together before Shizuo’s shift. _“It doesn’t have to go anywhere, but I mean, it could be something?”_

Kida excitedly jumped on board, offering many of his _highly_ experimental music mixes, and soon Shizuo and Izaya were dominating the basement gym of Shizuo’s apartment with their even more experimental moves for their impending debut as the dancing duo Big Bad and Little Red.

Fortunately, Shizuo and Izaya don’t have anything to fight about when it comes to their “hype” video. They had already agreed upon a set of flips and intimate, contemporary floor moves so they just wait for Kida and Mikado - mostly Mikado - to set up the camera.

“You and Vorona are _so_ going down tonight.” Izaya hisses at Shizuo, a smile teasing his lips.

 _“Please.”_ Shizuo scoffs, giving Izaya a good-natured shove with his shoulder. “Vorona basically _let_ you guys win last time.”

Tonight is their weekly couples game night at Shizuo and Vorona’s. The usual teams. Dice Jenga. Winner take all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> More to come.


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